EXT. THE BIG BLUE SKY – DAY
A VIRGIN AIR 747 bursts through the clouds and levels off.
INT. VIRGIN AIR 747 – DAY
We move through the FIRST CLASS CABIN. It’s the regular
mix of first class people: OLD MONEY in Gucci enjoying
freshly baked cookies, a MILLIONAIRE in jeans and a T-
shirt, BUSINESS PEOPLE relaxing after a tough day, and…
…a very nervous MAN.
Shifty-eyed. Alone in an aisle seat, the emergency row.
We hold on him for a moment, but not for too long. Then
we continue moving into —
THE COACH SECTION
Stopping at the lavatory, the “OCCUPIED” sign switches to
JAMES EARL JONES
(or actually, a James Earl Jones type, who for ease of
description, we’ll simply refer to as James Earl Jones)
steps out of the restroom, in full African regalia:
multi-colored dashiki, mufti (it’s a kind of hat), the
works. He heads up the aisle towards —
THE FIRST CLASS CABIN
Where he is stopped by a —
I’m sorry, sir. This cabin is
restricted to first cl…
Mr. Jones now removes a FIRST CLASS TICKET.
JAMES EARL JONES
Is this what you’re looking for?
She looks at it — a little confused as to why he’s just
handing it to her now — but then she nods. As he passes:
Oh, I’m sorry. Please. Is there
anything I can get you?
JAMES EARL JONES
Scotch, blended. Straight.
He continues into the first class cabin and toward —
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 2.
THE FIRST CLASS EMERGENCY ROOM
Where he slides in past the nervous, shifty-eyed man (his
name is PASQUAL) and sits by the window.
After a moment, Pasqual quietly clears his throat and
leans, slightly, towards Jones.
They say birds can’t fly this high.
JAMES EARL JONES
They say only angels can.
Now Pasqual nods. Nervously begins to remove something
from his pocket when they are interrupted by —
Shall I pour your scotch?
JAMES EARL JONES
No — I’ll take the bottle. Thank you.
She hands him the airplane-sized bottle — he waves off
the glass. She shrugs, leaving…
Pasqual to resume what he was doing. Slowly, he removes
a roll of Certs. He looks to Jones — “Well? What about
your end of the bargain?”
From within his dashiki, Jones pulls out a black velvet
pouch. He hands it to Pasqual, who opens it to find
diamonds. A helluva lot of diamonds. Pasqual smiles.
He hands the roll of Certs to Jones. It’s not breath
candy at all, but a tiny roll of explosives, with a tiny,
high-tech triggering mechanism.
JAMES EARL JONES
Ah, c-5. The most dangerous
explosive material ever invented.
Hard to believe that this little
contraption could blow up ten city
Be careful with it, huh?
Both men smile. Pasqual’s very relieved that the deal is
Then suddenly, the lights blink out.
Pasqual looks around, nervous. But it’s just the in-
flight movie beginning. Clouds, and a woman holding a
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 3.
Columbia Pictures presents… David Spade and Adam
Sandler in “BOSOM BUDDIES: THE MOVIE.”
James Earl Jones shakes his head, rolls his eyes.
JAMES EARL JONES
Another movie from an old TV show?
Well, what’re you gonna do?
JAMES EARL JONES
That’s very funny.
But James Earl Jones is dead serious.
JAMES EARL JONES
No. It isn’t.
Jones grabs Pascal in a headlock and turns toward the
back of the plane, shouting:
JAMES EARL JONES (CONT’D)
EVERYONE! FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS!
Now Jones does the unthinkable. Holding Pasqual tight,
he yanks open the emergency door release.
With a RUSH, the cabin decompresses.
Panic erupts as air, paper and everything not belted in
screams out of the open door, including —
EXT. THE BIG BLUE SKY – FALLING AWAY FROM THE 747 – DAY
— James Earl Jones, still holding Pasqual in a bear hug.
They plummet, wind violently tearing at them. Pasqual’s
frantic SCREAMS doppler quite nicely.
DROPPING WITH THEM
They continue to fall, gaining speed. Pasqual is
terrified, but Jones doesn’t seem worried. In fact,
casually, he glances at his watch, and then looks —
FAR BELOW THEM – ACROSS THE SKY
At the tiny black speck gradually grows larger in the
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 4.
CLOSER – ON THAT BLACK SPECK
It’s a jet helicopter. Its door opens, and now a SKYDIVER leaps
out, helmet down, arms back, streaking across the
sky in aerodynamic perfection, heading directly towards
JONES AND PASQUAL
who are still plummeting toward the earth at terminal
velocity. Jones begins to let go of Pasqual, who SCREAMS
and tries to clutch onto him, desperate.
JAMES EARL JONES
(over the rushing wind)
PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. WE HAVE
Suddenly — WHOMMPPPH!! — the skydiver spread-eagles,
stopping the wild dive directly behind Pasqual, and
immediately binds his arms and straps a parachute on him.
All three are still free-falling.
James Earl Jones nods at the Skydiver who, even under the
helmet and goggles, is clearly a beautiful woman.
Meet ALEXANDRA “ALEX” MUNDAY, one of Charlie’s Angels.
She’s a sultry bombshell — a classic femme fatale —
only she’s playing for the good guys.
She gives James Earl Jones a wink, then jerks Pasqual’s
rip cord and — WHOOMPH. Pasqual’s chute deploys. He
flies upward, leaving —
Alex and James Earl Jones, both still falling. Below the
ocean screams up at them. Not much time left.
James Earl Jones pulls his belt — and his mufti flies
up. It’s actually a tiny drogue chute, deploying his
entire dashiki. His outfit hides a parachute rig.
Alex pulls her own rip cord and — WHOOMPH — her chute
unfurls, and now…
Alex and James Earl Jones gently float towards —
EXT. THE BIG BLUE SEA – DAY
A cigarette boat floats through the choppy water, a
gorgeous young woman expertly throttling up the growling
Say hello to NATALIE THOMPSON, Charlie’s second angel.
At a glance, she’s the brainy-shy girl next door.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 5.
But put her behind the wheel of any vehicle, and she’s
Natalie glances ahead, maneuvering the boat perfectly under
Alex, who drops on deck. Alex gathers her chute, then whips off
her helmet to give her cascading mane a wild shake.
Here comes James Earl Jones. Natalie guns the boat
underneath…a perfect catch. Alex helps him with his
dashiki-chute, and then all three look up…
Here comes Pasqual. Natalie whips the boat around,
catching him as he helplessly drops into the seats, still
bound, still scared out of his wits. He gapes wild-eyed
at the two Angels, then whirls on James Earl Jones.
You crazy bastard!
JAMES EARL JONES
I think you mean crazy bitch.
With that, James Earl Jones reaches up and pulls his face
off. Latex rips free, and standing there (without his
dashiki, James Earl Jones has a great figure) is…
… stunningly beautiful DYLAN SANDERS, angel number
three. She’s the wild one.
Pasqual’s jaw drops as Dylan shakes her hair free, then
reaches in her mouth —
(still with James Earl Jones’ voice)
Don’t need this anymore.
— and extracts a voice-modifying chip.
(now in her real voice)
But I sure could use this.
And she pulls from her pocket the airplane-size bottle of
Johnnie Walker Black. She twists it open and downs it.
Damn I hate to fly.
EXT. BEACH DOCK – DAY
Now, MEN IN “FBI” WINDBREAKERS haul Pasqual away, two of
them carefully handling the certs-explosive. A harmless
fellow pushes his way past them and onto the dock.
It’s JOHN BOSLEY, Charlie’s lieutenant.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 6.
He reaches the boat, which Natalie ties off while Alex
and Dylan neatly fold their parachutes.
Well, Angels, the experimental
explosives are back in the hands of
the government, and the free world
can breathe just a lit-tle bit
easier tonight, thanks to you three.
Alex, Natalie and Dylan stroll from the dock onto the sand,
each starting to unzip/unbutton/unsnap their action gear and
hand it to Bosley as they continue walking.
And thanks to you, too, Bos.
We couldn’t have redirected the
flight path without your help.
Bosley puffs, proud. He speaks over the ever-growing
pile of chutes, body suits, goggles, the dashiki…
Nothing a little teamwork can’t do.
At least, that’s what Charlie’s
always telling us, right ladies?
Charlie will be joining us, won’t he?
He sends his regrets. But he
wanted you to know that dinner is
on him, so feel free to celebrate.
By now, the Angels have stripped off all of their
equipment, revealing eye-popping evening gowns.
If it’s on Charlie, we will.
The Angels share a laugh as they arrive in their sassy
duds at a private beach club, where a WAITER greets them
with a tray of champagne flutes.
They each take a glass, turn to each other and raise
them. Another Angels Mystery… Case Closed.
FREEZE FRAME. And the TITLE SEQUENCE BEGINS…
Once upon a time…
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 7.
THREE FOURTH GRADE SCHOOL PHOTOS FILL THE FRAME, side by
side by side. These are three very different girls.
NATALIE, with a page-boy cut and wearing a Catholic
schoolgirl’s uniform, sports glasses and braces; a bit
awkward and gangly, even shy.
ALEX, formally dressed with perfect pig-tails, is
sophisticated and self-possessed; a class act, even at ten.
DYLAN, wild blond hair and faded T-shirt, has a jaded,
street-wise smirk; even at this young age, her isolation
and disillusionment are masked by seeming confidence.
… there were three very
different little girls.
The triptych remains on screen. Now it shifts into:
VIDEO TAPE – THE THREE GIRLS (STILL IN TRIPTYCH)
Now TEENAGERS, on HOME VIDEO.
NATALIE, working the A-V equipment at school, hides her
face in embarrassment, uncomfortable with the camera.
ALEX, in riding gear, accepting her steeple-chase trophy.
She knows where to look for the camera. FREEZE.
DYLAN, smoking with her tough-girl friends in the girls’
room of her reform school, is caught on camera. She
flips it off. FREEZE.
Who grew up into three very
They’re all WOMEN now, in their early twenties.
NATALIE, a research fellow at MIT (and beautiful, but not
flaunting it) demonstrates a chess-playing computer
program to a room of impressed advisors.
ALEX, valedictorian at Oxford, passionately delivers her
address to a crowd of rapt students, faculty and parents.
DYLAN, in leather and a helmet, steps off a Harley. She
sees a punk with a mohawk slapping around his girlfriend.
She decks him, then enters the back door of a seedy punk bar.
With three things in common…
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 8.
With photographs again. The women, as they are now:
Natalie, Alex, Dylan. All gorgeous, all self-assured.
They’re brilliant. They’re
beautiful. And they work for me.
Now, FIREBALL EXPLOSIONS completely fill the screen.
My name is Charlie.
ANGEL SILHOUETTES appear, in flames. New MUSIC kicks in.
…And a new title sequence takes over:
VARIOUS SHOTS: MONTAGE (OVER MUSIC)
Credits continue as we watch the Angels in action (from,
presumably, previous adventures…)
— A microscope-peering Natalie cuts a ruby, drops it in
a laser housing, shoots a red beam.
— Dylan, wielding kendo sticks, spars with two Yakzuza.
— Alex side-kicks two baddies, spins, drops a third.
ZOOM BACK: she is at the Parthenon.
— A motocross race. Natalie digs in for the finish,
attacking the last jump with gusto.
— Dylan, in traditional Islamic robes, finds a secret
switch. She pushes back a bookcase to reveal secret stairs.
— At a ballroom dance competition, Alex wows the crowd
while keeping her eye on a nefarious couple.
— Bosley, as “Luka, the Bad Ass Pimp,” bitch-slaps a
couple of “ho’s” — actually Dylan and Alex — then winks
at them as unsuspecting drug dealers back off, scared.
— Natalie bites into a messy hot-dog, has to just laugh.
— The three angels elbow their way through a roller-
— In orange prison jumpsuits, Alex and Dylan work in
— Window-washer Natalie peers into a skyscraper office,
surreptitiously photographing the meeting inside.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 9.
— On an Italian street, the three Angels buy a paper,
grin at the headline, “Mystery Women Save European
Union.” As they high-five, Dylan’s cone of gelato drops
to the sidewalk. The Angels look at it, look at each
other…and just have to laugh.
TITLE SEQUENCE ENDS.
OVER BLACK we hear a DIGITAL RING…
INT. TINY HOUSEBOAT BEDROOM – DAY
CLOSE ON Dylan as she wakes up in a tangle of ugly
sheets, disoriented and a bit hungover. She hears the
RINGING — where is it coming from? Why is it drilling
into her head?
Checking the floor, she finds her jeans. Digs in the
pocket to find her cell phone. Answering…
Hi. Okay. I’ll be right in.
She clicks the phone off, then starts looking around.
Where the fuck is she?
From the next room, we hear a male VOICE singing “My
Sharona.” She checks under the sheets. Oh God. She’s
naked. She pulls her shirt from the floor, puts it on.
Closing her eyes, she prays…
Not him. Not him, not him, not him.
Oh God no.
At the door, skinny shirtless CHAD holds a skillet of eggs.
EXT. CHAD’S CRAPPY BOAT – DAY
Blinded by the daylight, Dylan emerges from below,
relieved to see the boat is docked. Chad follows her
C’mon Dylan. You + Me. It’s
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 10.
It’s a mistake. A horrible,
She jumps onto the dock.
Then how come we keep getting back
together? It’s fate.
Dylan just keeps walking.
Is it because I live on a boat?
CLOSEUP – MAN’S FACE
This is Jason Gibbons, handsome, action-movie stud. He’s
If you don’t defuse this bomb,
Logan, L.A.’s going to be a new
A bead of sweat drops down Jason’s face.
Get off my back, Sanchez. I know
what I’m doing.
REVEAL ALEX, her face right next to his.
Which wire? The red one or the blue one?
Marix has a thing for red. Red
cars, red boats, red-headed hookers.
So the red one.
That’s why I’m gonna say blue.
He makes a “snip” motion. They both breathe a sigh of relief.
You saved the world again, Logan.
She leans forward, closer and closer, right in his face.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 11.
That’s my job.
Alex kisses him. It’s a damn good kiss. Jason’s into
it, but pulls away for a second.
I don’t think Sanchez would kiss
me. He’s a forty-year-old man.
Pull back to reveal…
ALEX and JASON are in a fully macked out Airstream,
sitting on a bed, leaning over an open screenplay. We
can tell from our surroundings that Jason is a big deal
Hollywood action star, and this trailer is his home away
She licks the bridge of his nose, then kisses him again.
Let’s have it rewritten.
As she smiLes, a cell phone RINGS. Both Alex and Jason
reach for their phones. It’s hers.
EXT. JASON’S AIRSTREAM – DAY
Jason stands in the doorway in his robe as Alex tosses
her stuff in the back of a very excellent car.
So when you coming back?
Not sure. Whenever I can. I’ll
Oh, great, that’s helpful.
(watching her prepare to go)
I don’t get it, what kind of
executive assistant is on 24 hour call?
A very good one.
You ask me, your boss is an asshole.
When do I get to meet this Charlie
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 12.
Charlie’s not very social.
Yeah, well I think you should
Charlie needs me.
I need you.
Alex looks back — that was more personally revealing
than she expected.
A P.A. comes up next to Jason.
Mr. Gibbons? We’re ready for you
on the set.
Jason nods, then back to Alex.
I gotta go save the world.
Alex smiles at the irony of that.
She blows him a kiss and speeds off.
EXT. BEACH APARTMENT WALKWAY – DAY
Natalie KNOCKS on the door to 113. A beat later, the
door swings open to reveal BOB.
Natalie SCREAMS in astonishment.
What! Natalie, what?
I thought you were dead.
She pushes past him.
INT. BOB’S APARTMENT – DAY
Natalie makes a beeline for his keys on the table.
Starts taking one key off the ring.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 13.
I thought the police might be here.
Or your neighbors. Or your parents,
here to identify your remains.
He has no idea what she’s talking about. She goes to
where she retrieves a toothbrush.
I saw your car was here, so I knew
you weren’t carjacked and brutally
beaten, left to die on the highway.
Her cell phone RINGS.
She holds up a finger, just a sec.
Hello. Absolutely. I’ll be right in.
She hangs up.
I’m not dead.
But you can understand why I
thought so. You missed our date
last night. You didn’t call or
anything. I was just sitting
there by myself.
ANGLE ON Bob. What can he say?
I can tolerate a lot, but punctuality
and attendance, those rank very high
in my list of dating priorities.
I can explain.
Behind Natalie, a door opens. A topless BLONDE looks out.
I can explain.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 14.
Behind the Blonde, ISAAC HAYES looks out. He’s also topless.
Beyond weirded out, Natalie just leaves.
EXT. SUNSET BOULEVARD – DAY
Passing cars reveal the one and only CHARLES TOWNSEND
DETECTIVE AGENCY. That’s what the sign says.
INT. CHARLES TOWNSEND DETECTIVE AGENCY – DAY
In foreground, a blender WHIRRS. Still hungover, Dylan
cringes from the sound. Natalie pours out three fruit
smoothies for the angels.
Just once, I want to date a normal
man, without a wife, or a drug
addiction, or bondage issues.
She and Natalie toast. Alex is only half-in. Off their look…
What? I’ve got a great relationship.
Your boyfriend thinks you’re a
That way, he doesn’t ask about my work.
Bosley walks in with a folder. He eyes their drinks.
I’m sorry, Bosley. I only made
enough for three.
No, that’s…That’s okay.
It’s not okay, but that’s our Bosley. He takes his seat
behind his desk. Now we see the biggest addition to the
office, the Angels Wall of Fame.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 15.
Pictures of every angel, from the original cast members to some
fictitious ones we’ve never seen before. The rest of the office
is exactly as we remember it, right down to the
Good morning, Angels.
Good morning, Charlie.
The angels take a seat on couches and chairs.
I’m sorry to call you back from
vacation, but we’ve got a case
that just can’t wait.
As he’s talking, the far blinds close themselves. A white
screen lowers from the ceiling, ready to catch the
A handsome MAN IN HIS 20’S in a CNN profile. The sound is
muted, be we see him attending a gala; in an office surrounded
by computers; rock climbing; smiling in a sit-down interview.
CHARLIE’S VOICE (CONT’D)
Meet Eric Knox.
Oops, did Bosley say that out loud?
He’s 28-years old, and in three days
he’ll be a billionaire, when his
company, Knox Technologies, goes public.
It’s good to be him.
So what’s the catch?
Last night, Knox was kidnapped
from his own office.
ON VIDEO: Surveillance camera footage of a parking
garage. Two MEN IN HOODS shove Knox into black car.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 16.
No one’s heard a thing from the
A WOMAN’S VOICE
They don’t want money. They just
want to sink our company.
A striking WOMAN IN A SUIT stands in the doorway.
Angels, meet Vivian Wu, vice
president of finance for Knox
Technologies. She’s hired us to
The initial public offering is in
three days. If we don’t get Mr.
Knox back, or if word gets out
that he’s missing, the company
stands to lose a billion dollars.
She seems to direct this next sentence right to Natalie.
VIVIAN WU (CONT’D)
We need your help.
Charlie, where do we start?
Alex, I want you and Bosley to
stake out Roger Corwin.
Bosley is excited to hear his name mentioned.
ON VIDEO: Roger Corwin. He’s an unpleasant-looking man,
who’s even nastier when he tries to smile. We see logos
for his company, Red Star Systems
CHARLIE’S VOICE (CONT’D)
For the past year, he’s been
trying to buy Knox’s company and
their new browser software. Knox
refused to sell. His company, Red
Start Systems, has the most to
gain from Knox’s disappearance.
Kidnap the founder and you sink
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 17.
Exactly, Alex. Let’s keep our eyes
on Mr. Corwin, Angels. If Knox is
still alive, Corwin might lead us
We’re on it.
Any chance you can join us,
We see his chalky fingers grabbing into a hand hold.
We’re halfway up the face of Yosemite’s El Capitan — the
ground is hundreds of feet below.
I’d love to, angels, but I’ve got
my hands full this morning.
Two beautiful and buxomly CLIMBING BUDDIES smile at him.
EXT. PALM SPRINGS SPA – DAY
EXT. SPA DECK / OUTSIDE WALKWAY – DAY
Built into the Palm Springs Hills, this very exclusive
spa has a fantastic view of the desert.
Dressed in a crisp spa uniform, Alex has a sidebar with a
white-robed Bosley. She shows him a tiny electronic
device shaped like a bullet.
This is a transmitter. I’ll be
able to hear everything you say.
Where do I hide it?
I’ll be nude.
Alex takes a plastic cup, drops the transmitter into it.
Covers it over with ice chips from a nearby bucket.
Bosley nods, clever.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 18.
Try to get Corwin to talk about
the industry, Knox, anything.
She points him in the direction of the men’s spa. But he’s
frozen with excitement.
I’m going undercover.
I know. You’ll do great.
INT. MEN’S STEAM ROOM – DAY
A burst of steam clears, revealing Bosley. He waddles forward
in his shower clogs, which SQUISH with every step. He’s wearing
two towels: one around his waist, and a second around his
As more steam dissipates, we see there are SEVEN MEN sitting on
the risers. Six are gorgeous, ranging from Calvin Klein models
to Marlboro Men. Bosley looks around, taking a keen interest.
Maybe he’s checking them out, maybe he isn’t. We just don’t
The seventh man is ROGER CORWIN, who we recognize from
the videotape. He’s leaning forward, a gold chain
dangling. It’s beside him that Bosley takes a seat.
He sets the ice cup — and the transmitter — in a
Noticing that none of the other men have towels around
their bosoms, Bosley nervously undoes his, revealing skin
the color of cooked salmon. He fluffs up his sparse chest hair,
then decides to smush it back down.
He tries to make eye contact with Corwin, working way too
hard. Annoyed, Corwin finally looks over.
Hot in here, isn’t it?
Corwin shakes his head, idiot.
Just came here to unwind a little.
Business these days is go go go. My
company just held an initial pubic offering.
Yes, he said “pubic.” He’s about to correct himself when
a very hot guy across from him moves his towel to wipe off
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 19.
some sweat. We don’t see the promised land, but Bosley
does. It flusters him.
He sees another guy eating ice chips. Good idea. Bosley
does the same. He eats another. And another.
So, what business are you in?
Corwin seems wary, but Bosley is clearly harmless.
Computers, hunh? What do you know
about this new browser from Knox
Corwin bristles at the mention.
Word on the street is, once they
raise capital, they’ll rule the
I don’t see that happening.
Really? Why not?
The door opens, a rush of steam. ADONIS HIMSELF enters.
Picking a seat behind Bosley, he pulls off his towel as
he passes. We just see a bit of ass, but Bosley is face-
to-face with the babymaker.
One ice chip is not going to do it. He chugs the rest of
his cup, including
which BLEEPS. Corwin and others look over. What the hell
The device still in his mouth, Bosley has no choice but to
smile and swallow. His eyes go wide as he chokes it down.
Corwin gets up to leave.
Nice talking with you.
Another BLEEP. He shuts his mouth tight. Smiles. Rubs
his chest a bit, trying to get the transmitter down.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 20.
INT. PRIVATE MASSAGE ROOM – DAY
Corwin walks into a lushly-appointed private massage
room. A masseuse dressed in a skimpy robe, her back to
us, oils up her hands sensuously near the window.
Please to take off clothes, Mr. Corvin.
Corwin gets under the sheet, on his stomach. The
masseuse turns around, and now we see that it’s Alex.
Alex starts to work on his back. She is clearly an
expert at this. This is a legit place, but there’s
something undeniably sensual about the whole experience.
You’re carrying a lot of tension
along ze fourth und fifth vertebrae.
Let me see if I can vork it out.
Under the table, we look up to see Corwin’s face in the
cradle. He’s in a tortured rapture.
Alex works along Corwin’s back and neck. She pulls his
arms out to the side.
The human body is an amazing instrument.
Just by activating ze right energy
points, you can improve ze circulation,
alleviate pain, or…
Corwin goes limp.
(losing the accent)
… knock a man unconscious.
Confident Corwin is out cold, she slides the key strap
off his wrist.
INT. EXECUTIVE LOCKER ROOM – DAY
Making sure she’s alone, Alex uses the key to open a
locker. She carefully sorts through Corwin’s things,
finding his Palm Pilot organizer. She clicks it into a
special device, which BLIPS as it downloads all his
Putting the Palm Pilot away, she shuts the locker.
INT. MASSAGE ROOM – DAY
CLOSE ON Corwin as he suddenly wakes up, disoriented.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 21.
Just when we think Alex’s plan has failed, we TILT UP to
see Alex is right there. She’s massaging him.
You must have dozed off.
A beat. Yeah, he must have. A patented ANGELS FLIP
leads us to…
INT. NATALIE’S EXCELLENT CONVERTIBLE – DAY
The Angels are all in the car together, cruising down
Sunset Boulevard. Dylan drives, Alex in the passenger seat,
Natalie in the back seat with her computer on her lap.
Can you not drive my car so fast,
Dyl? I’m trying to type.
(to Alex, under her breath)
I drive too fast. Look who’s talking.
She pulls into an In N’ Out Burger, right up to the drive thru.
Three double doubles, animal style.
Fries. Three chocolate shakes.
While they wait for their order, Natalie punches
something up on her computer.
Here’s Corwin’s itinerary.
ONSCREEN — we see a list of all Corwin’s plans for the
next week. Two events in particular stand out:
TUESDAY NIGHT — INVESTOR RECEPTION, BILTMORE HOTEL
THURSDAY — SAN DIEGO RACEWAY
Dylan glances over the schedule.
Alright, we’ll hit the reception tonight.
I only wish we had a clue to go on.
The food comes, Dylan takes it.
Hold that thought.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 22.
Natalie goes back to the computer again, slipping a CD
into the drive. Dylan hands out the food, spilling a lot
of it. A big glop of chocolate shake lands on the
Uh, hello? Expensive equipment.
Natalie licks the shake off her fingers, tapes away at
Check this out. New program I just
got from a friend in the Bureau. We
take that footage from the kidnapping…
On screen, the footage downloads from the CD, into the
program. Natalie fast forwards through it until she
comes to a shot of one of the kidnappers where his mask
is partly pulled away from his face.
… isolate the part of the suspect’s
face that’s revealed, then retriangulate
his bone structure…
The program zooms in on the revealed part of his face,
then runs a series of calculations. A new drawing starts
… and voila! We’ve got a composite.
Natalie’s portable printer spits out a simulated
composite of one skinny, bad-looking dude. Dylan grabs
it, looks it over.
Sweet. Now we’ve got someone to
She hands it to Alex to inspect.
Oh yeah. He’ll be easy to spot
with that open head wound.
She turns the composite around, revealing that Dylan has
smudged his head with ketchup.
They all just have to laugh.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 23.
INT. BILTMORE BALLROOM – DAY
A sophisticated reception is in full swing, an ocean of
smart suits and power ties.
Dressed as a catering waitress, Natalie carries a tray of
hors d’oeuvres. MOVING WITH her, we pass ROGER CORWIN, who
talks with another suit, and further on, a conservatively-
dressed DYLAN who chats up a group of WALL STREET TYPES.
The average investor sees technology
stocks as discrete entities, “This one is
up 50 points, this one is down 10.” It’s
only through derivative analysis that one
sees the real power of that sector.
A few nods. She makes a good point.
Which analysis method do you prefer?
On Dylan. Shit. She tries to stall…
Well, there are so many options.
I mean, who can say what the one
best choice is?
ACROSS THE ROOM
Still walking, Natalie talks to no one…
BACK WITH DYLAN
For my money, Keppler-Wilson is a
More nods, ad-libbed agreement. The Broker Guy is impressed.
Excusing herself, Dylan turns and subtly touches her ear,
where she’s wearing a hidden radio.
AT THE BAR
Natalie loads champagne flutes onto her tray.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 24.
MAN’S VOICE (O.S.)
She looks up to see a very cute bartender, PETE (26).
She didn’t realize he was so close.
Anytime, day or night, I am… excited
… to be handing out champagne.
Oh God. What did she just say? But he smiles anyway.
She heads back out into the crowd. You can almost see
the big L on her forehead.
BY THE FOUNTAIN
Dylan has been watching this. We INTERCUT between her
Sixty-five percent of relationships
begin in the workplace.
He’s a bartender. I need dependable.
I need reliable. I need a Volvo man.
Natalie walks past Dylan, not acknowledging her. Dylan
snaps her fingers.
Miss! Miss! I’d love some champagne.
Natalie comes back, a little annoyed. Dylan takes a
glass for herself, then foists the other glasses on
everyone around her, whether they wanted it or not.
Why don’t you get some more?
She nudges Natalie in that direction.
AT THE BAR
We TILT UP from a Japanese comic book to Pete. He
suddenly realizes Natalie is waiting for him.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 25.
He starts filling more flutes.
What are you reading?
He holds it up.
That’s the new Michio Kazura.
That’s not even out in America.
You know Michio Kazura?
Hello? Warriors of the Broken Earth? Classic.
I know. I just moved back from
Tokyo. It was the biggest thing
since Haikiri Nomura.
Tomuru nasgawa ishi Tokyo sen!
Nagada quing-gong ni. Ni zeru.
Imagine that. Natalie takes her tray and reluctantly
Ask him out. Ask him out.
She turns and heads back.
Pete. Good to meet you.
Listen, there’s an animation festival
at the Egyptian this week. I was
wondering if you might want to…
Tomorrow night? Eight o’clock?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 26.
I’ll meet you there.
She smiles, hearing the deal close. Pushing through a
cluster of investors, she bumps into a THIN MAN.
He doesn’t respond, but something about this man raises
her suspicions. Where has she seen him before? As he
moves out of earshot…
Natalie. Nine o’clock. Thin man.
I’m on it.
Spotting the Thin Man, she heads his way.
Vegetarian spring roll?
He waves her away, no. Oops, she drops a napkin in front
of him. She kneels down to get it.
As we move in VERY CLOSE ON her tray, we see that there’s
a tiny Digital display. A metal detector is built into
It BLIPS as she moves past his ankle. And again as she
rises up past his chest. The man just keeps walking.
Two guns. One ankle, one shoulder.
You call it.
You take point. I’ll circle behind.
INT. HALLWAY – DAY
The Thin Man is headed down the hall. Looking back, we
see Dylan enter from the ballroom.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 27.
He doesn’t turn back.
Excuse me, do you know which way
the ladies’ room is?
The man takes a sudden right into a service hallway.
Why do they always run?
She slips off her heels to give chase.
INT. SERVICE HALLWAY – DAY
The Thin Man comes around the corner. We stay TIGHT on
him, until he suddenly stops.
has come around from the other side. His bad guy instincts
tell him these women are working together. He’s boxed in.
And then, a DING!
Elevator doors open beside him. He looks in to see the clue-
less BELLBOY, who had a funky groove going on his headphones.
In a single motion, the Thin Man yanks the guy out into the
hallway and takes his place. Hits the button.
From opposite directions, Natalie and Dylan run to the
elevator, but the doors have already shut. Checking the
He’s going down.
They take the stairs.
INT. BASEMENT SERVICE HALLWAY – DAY
Natalie and Dylan emerge from the staircase to find the
elevator empty. To the left, exit doors swing tellingly.
EXT. DOWNTOWN LOS ANGELES – DAY
Nat and Dylan smash through the exit doors and out into
the sun-drenched streets of beautiful, downtown Los
Angeles. Natalie immediately spots the Thin Man, booking
down the alley.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 28.
And they take off after him.
What ensues is the fastest, wildest, two chicks and one
guy foot chase you’ve ever seen. Here are some highlights:
— Thin Man pulls himself, clumsily, over a chain link
fence. Dylan and Natalie pull an old Jackie Chan trick
and run up the side wall and hop over easily.
— Thin Man, still on foot, waits for traffic to slow,
then darts across the Harbor Freeway. By the time Dylan
and Natalie get there, traffic is roaring again.
Undeterred, they make their way through, tucking and
rolling under the wheels of a moving semi.
— Dylan is racing down an alley, when a car comes barrelling
at her. She leaps up onto the hood of the car as it drives
underneath her, a la one of those That’s Incredible! stunts.
— They chase the Thin Man into an industrial laundromat.
The scene goes something like this:
INT. INDUSTRIAL LAUNDRY ROOM
Thunderously LOUD, with industrial washers and dryers operating
at full tilt. Natalie and Dylan are just entering when
ring out. They dive for cover behind a massive washer
There are times I wish we carried
Where’s the challenge in that?
ANGLE ON the Thin Man, planning his next move. With no
good shot at the angels, he aims high, both guns BLAZING.
He shots out the pipes over their heads, sending down a
cascade of hot water.
Dylan and Natalie scramble back to avoid getting scalded.
Other pipes SHATTER from the change in pressure, leading
to an interior thunderstorm. Steam fills the room as an
inch of water grows on the floor.
Natalie and Dylan push rolling laundry carts in the Thin
Man’s direction. He shoots at them, but quickly realizes
they’re just trying to waste his bullets.
Holstering one of his guns, he dials his cell phone.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 29.
On the far wall, Natalie switches on the overhead hooks,
which circle on a wire like a ski lift. The Thin Man
looks up, distracted, not noticing —
As she creeps up behind the cover of the rolling laundry
carts. She’s succeeded in circling behind the Thin Man
as he talks on the phone.
She clears her throat. The Thin Man turns. She kicks
him in the jaw.
Knocked back, he drops the phone, which CRACKS and slips
under a washing machine.
He crab-walks back, then suddenly springs back to his feet.
We weren’t expecting that kind of ninja move out of this guy.
HE TURNS TO SEE
right behind him. With a coiled towel, she grabs his gun
arm and expertly flips him. But he reacts smoothly, rolling
over to charge at Natalie, picking her up like a sack of
potatoes. As he does, he grabs her right in the tit.
Hey! Hands off, assh….
Before she can finish her sentence, the Thin Man throws
Natalie at Dylan, knocking them both down. He jumps up,
and with a single motion grabs an overhead pipe and kicks
another, releasing a wall of steam — we can’t see a thing.
By the time the fog clears, the Thin Man is long gone.
Okay, to summarize? Damn.
Lying down in the water, Dylan reaches under the washer
to fish out the Thin Man’s busted cell phone.
INT. TOWNSEND AGENCY BACK ROOM – DAY
Natalie sits at a glowing computer monitor, the Thin
Man’s cell phone connected by a data cable to the
Townsend Agency computers. Rapidly touching the screen,
she calls up a list of the last thirty-five phone calls
he received. They’re all from the same location.
Well. That was easy.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 30.
No, it wasn’t.
She points to some code next to the numbers.
I’ve seen this before, he’s
scrambling his calls through a
We need to tap this phone line
at the source, THEN we’ll know
where his calls were coming from.
(checking out the numbers)
503? That’s not local, where is it?
Bos, can we check a directory?
Don’t bother. I know where it is.
I used to spend every winter there.
As she says it…
EXT. ASPEN – NIGHT
The sign says it: Welcome to Aspen.
VARIOUS ESTABLISHING SHOTS of the gorgeous mountain town,
still somehow quaint despite its astonishing wealth.
EXT. COWBOY BAR — NIGHT
A rowdy establishment just outside of town.
INT. COWBOY BAR — CONTINUOUS
The kind of place that rich weekend skiers don’t come.
Lots of over-aggressive, cowboy-biker types, drinking more
than they should. There are only a few women in the place,
and they are either waitresses or biker chicks. Suddenly,
everyone stops what they’re doing and turns to the door.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS have entered the room. Dressed in their
stylish ensembles, they couldn’t possibly look more out of
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 31.
Hey look! Mechanical bull.
Eyes on the prize, Nat. We gotta
tap the phones.
That looks like our target.
She points to a door at the back of the bar that leads
into a glassed-in office. Two, beefy bouncer types are guarding
I’m gonna need a distraction.
Dylan and Natalie smile at each other.
I think that can be arranged.
The Three Angels split up, Bosley tagging along with Dylan.
sidles up to the bar. A group of three rednecks are
downing shots, one after another.
Three shots of tequila, please.
(Bosley whispers in her ear)
And one Tom Collins.
The rednecks stare at Dylan, drooling. Dylan turns to the first
Hey baby, why don’t you ditch that
stiff and come sit on ma lap?
Bosley tries to make himself small.
Ooh, that is an enticing offer.
But I got a better idea. How
about a shot contest? My treat?
The three rednecks hoot and holler.
Okay, I’ll take that as a yes. Bartender?
Bring ten shots of tequila over to my
table. And keep em coming.
BY THE MECHANICAL BULL
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 32.
A group of wanna bes are waiting their turn at the
mechanical bull. Natalie wanders over behind them.
Mind if I try?
The crowd parts for her, and Natalie hops up on the bull.
She cranks it up, and lets
BY THE BAR —
Dylan downs a shot, slams it on the table. Countless
other glasses surround her.
REVEAL that two of the rednecks are down for the count, one
falling out of his chair, the other passed out on the table.
The third redneck is slurring badly, trying to keep up
Hey, I’ve got an idea. Now let’s
have a chair throwing contest.
Chair throwing? Never heard of
it? You just pick up your chair
and throw it as far as you can.
The redneck nods, lifts up his chair and heaves it across
OKAY, HERE’S AN OUTLINE OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE REST OF
Dylan and Natalie create a distraction, while Alex sneaks
into the back office with Bosley to get the phone number
of the chalet.
EXT. HIGH MOUNTAIN ROAD – NIGHT
A VW van climbs the winding road. As we get closer, we see the
side reads, “Chalet Grams.”
A DING-DONG DING-DING-DONG doorbell rings.
INT. MOUNTAIN HOUSE / GREAT ROOM – NIGHT
TWO THUGS with shoulder holsters look up, hearing the bell.
One was tending to the fire.
We expecting somebody?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 33.
Thug Two shakes his head.
Checking his gun, Thug One grabs for his windbreaker.
Puts it on over.
EXT. FRONT PORCH – NIGHT
Thug One opens the door to find Dylan and Natalie dressed
in Swiss Miss outfits, complete with blonde braids.
DYLAN AND NATALIE
(to each other)
The girls lean in and hug each other, butts sticking out.
To the left, Bosley starts playing oommpa OOMMPA oommpa
OOMMPA on a wrap-around tuba. He’s wearing lederhosen,
with a feather in his hat.
Natalie begins to YODEL.
Dylan hands a fancy envelope to the bewildered thug. Thug
Two is approaching from behind, curious what the hell is
Dylan begins to TALK-SING a song in German about a too-
curious goat and his worried mistress. Even with the pantomime,
we have no idea what’s happening. It seems
wholesome, but occasionally one of the girls touches the
other in a weirdly coquettish, oddly sexual way.
Thug Two looks at the address on the envelope.
They got the wrong address.
As the angels continue their routine, the CAMERA RISES,
three quick cuts to take us to…
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 34.
EXT. THE ROOF – NIGHT
… where a black cat-suited Alex stands at the
chimney… A ribbon of smoke curls from the stack.
Pulling the pin from a canister, she drops it down the
INT. MOUNTAIN HOUSE GREAT ROOM – NIGHT
A cheerful fire burns in the over-sized fireplace. The
canister drops into the flames from above, suddenly
venting a HISSING cloud of halon gas. The fire dies
immediately, the logs covered with a violent frost.
INT. THE CHIMNEY – NIGHT
Alex doesn’t even need a rope. Her feet pressed to the
sooty walls, she expertly slides to the bottom.
INT. GREAT ROOM – NIGHT
Alex backs out of the fireplace to find a WAITING BAD GUY
A FIREPLACE POKER
at her head. She ducks just in time. The poker CHINGS
against the stone, making a spark.
Rolling, jumping and diving, Alex scurries as Pokerman
slashes and stabs. She ducks behind a chair, which
Pokerman catches with the hook, winging it across the
Backed against the wall, Alex yanks on the heavy
curtains, pulling them down, along with the wooden
curtain rod. A spin, a flourish of velvet and the
curtain rings drop off to leave her with a trusty
She goes on the offensive. Thrust, parry, spin.
But he’s a worthy adversary. One good karate kick breaks
her staff in two. She uses both pieces to club him in
the knees, then rolls back to the fireplace.
She grabs the remaining tool: the fireplace tongs.
Pokerman swings. Alex catches his weapon in the tong
scissors, yanking it free with such force the point sticks
in the wall.
A quick kick knocks Pokerman to the floor, where Alex
rolls on top of him. She catches his head in the tongs,
squeezing his temples. His eyes bulge.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 35.
INT. WINDOWLESS ROOM – NIGHT
Young billionaire ERIC KNOX paces. He’s grungy, with
two days of stubble, but still a darn attractive guy.
Hearing a KICK at the door, he turns.
A second KICK blows the door open. It’s Alex.
Who are you?
The calvary. Giddy up.
EXT. FRONT PORCH – NIGHT
Bosley is about to hyper-ventilate on the tuba, sweaty
and a little blue.
Dylan and Natalie’s new song has them sharing the saddle
of an imaginary horse. When Dylan reaches back to slap
the “horse,” she hits Natalie in the rump. Both women
The thugs think it’s pretty hot.
Dylan whispers a secret to Natalie. Natalie WHISPERS
Turning to the thugs, they each lean in to WHISPER into
a different thug’s ear. As the men smile, the angels
suddenly BONK the two men’s heads together. Both men
fall, knocked out.
Stepping over the bodies, Dylan heads inside.
INT. MOUNTAIN HOUSE HALLWAY – NIGHT
Looking for the way out, Alex leads Knox to a closed
door. She opens it to find…
INT. TV ROOM – NIGHT
… TWO MORE THUGS sitting in front the big-screen TV,
watching a college basketball game (Duke vs. Maryland,
in case you care.) The guards look back, spotting Alex
That wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the
FIFTEEN OTHER THUGS
watching the game with them.
ANGLE ON Alex. It’s an oh-shit moment.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 36.
Sorry. Wrong room.
The thugs are out of their seats a moment later, each of
them pulling out a firearm.
EXT. FRONT PORCH – NIGHT
Holding down three keys on the tuba, Bosley talks into
the mouthpiece. It has a secret radio.
Alex, what’s your status?
INT. STAIRCASE – NIGHT
Running, Alex pushes Knox ahead of her, checking their
backs. She talks into a wrist-mic.
Good news: I found Knox.
Another THUG steps out in front of her. She kicks him
down the steps.
Bad news: I found company.
Reaching the bottom of the steps, Knox is surprised to be
grabbed by Dylan.
At this point, he’ll do whatever they say.
EXT. FRONT OF MOUNTAIN HOUSE – NIGHT
Dylan rushes Knox across the driveway to the waiting van
— Natalie is pulling it around. Overhead, bright
security lights switch on.
Back at the front door, Alex pulls it shut. She attaches
a carabiner clip to the handle, running a thin steel cord
from it around the porch column.
INT. FOYER – NIGHT
The first of the thugs reaches the door, tries to pull it
open but can’t. The next few guards try to help him,
while the rest start smashing through the windows.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 37.
EXT. FRONT OF MOUNTAIN HOUSE – NIGHT
Running with the tuba, Bosley stops for a moment to catch
his breath, hands on his knees. Okay, ready to run
He’s the last to be pulled into the van. A spray of
gravel and they’re off.
INT. THE VAN – NIGHT
Everyone is piled on top of each other. Dylan and Knox
have a few awkward moments as they get untangled. Bosley
keeps making inappropriate TUBA NOISES.
At the wheel, Natalie is fierce and focused, in total
Looking out the back windows, Alex sees the kidnappers
piling into jeeps to give chase. From the side of the
house, more thugs appear on motorbikes.
They’re coming after us.
(to Knox, confident)
We were expecting that.
Okay, new problem.
Everyone’s attention WHIPS FORWARD to see the headlights of
GIANT LOGGING TRUCK
coming up the high mountain road. It straddles the
center line, blocking both directions. There’s no way
Thoughts, suggestions, points to
I don’t suppose giving up would
No, it wouldn’t. Then —
There is no right.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 38.
She points to a faded “CLOSED” sign that hangs from a
chain. In the darkness, who knows what it’s blocking.
But as we hear the THUNDEROUS HORN from the oncoming
truck, we know there’s no choice.
Natalie cuts a hard right, SMASHING through the sign.
The van THUMPS AND BUMPS its way across the low grass,
its headlights only showing ten feet ahead. At any
moment, the ground could stop in a cliff.
The van leaps into empty space. Tires spin, helpless.
The van falls.
Everyone SCREAMS. Bosley is the loudest.
And then, touchdown. The van hits the ground, hard but
not catastrophically. Natalie hits the brakes, cuts the
wheel hard to avoid hitting
A CONCRETE WALL
in front of them. Everyone takes a beat to acknowledge
Where are we?
Suddenly, a BRIGHT LIGHT goes on overhead.
EXT. THE MOUNTAIN – NIGHT
One by one, a series of arc lights switches on, forming a
snake all the way to the bottom of the mountain.
INT. THE VAN – NIGHT
Looking out the back windows…
It’s a bobsled run.
They’re facing backwards.
Up ahead, the kidnappers are charging down the access roads.
The first of two jeeps makes the jump into the bobsled chute.
If it goes down the mountain,
that’s all I need.
Throwing it into reverse, Natalie peels out.
The jeeps follow.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 39.
EXT. BOBSLED RUN – NIGHT
The VW Van leads the way down the mountain, tail-first.
As it builds speed, it starts to climb the wall, each turn
getting steeper and steeper.
The two jeeps are following. Facing the right direction,
they have a much easier time of it.
INT. VAN – NIGHT
Everything is shaking so violently, it looks like a NASA launch.
(looking out the back)
Hard left! HARD LEFT!
Natalie makes the turn. The van rises up, nearly tilting
over. But they make it through the turn.
Is this part of the plan?
Yes. Except for the bobsled run,
and the backwards part, it’s
going exactly according to plan.
A beat. He smiles at her. He has a nice smile.
EXT. BOBSLED RUN – NIGHT
One of the jeeps makes a move, closing the distance to
the van. A RIFLEMAN leans out the passenger window,
lining up a shot. He FIRES.
INT. THE VAN – NIGHT
The shot blasts cleanly through the top of the windshield,
through the horn of Bosley’s tuba, then out the back window. It
missed hitting somebody by millimeters.
Natalie is still focused, making each turn as Alex calls it.
EXT. BOBSLED RUN – NIGHT`
The front jeep gets even more aggressive, building speed.
It hits the next turn too fast, rising up too high along
the wall. It tips further, and further, finally rolling
over onto its back. It SCRAPES across the concrete, a
shower of sparks as it slows down.
With nowhere to go, the second jeep brakes hard, but can’t stop.
It SMASHES into the first jeep, a tangle of steel.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 40.
The combined mass continues sliding down the run, like a
jagged pinball in the chute.
INT. THE VAN – NIGHT
Dylan looks out through the windshield as the jeep combo recedes
farther and farther away.
I think we’re in the clear.
Just then, two MOTORBIKES race up along the chute walls, passing
the crippled jeeps. Two more MOTORBIKES jump in from above.
Or maybe not.
Suddenly, Natalie GASPS, remembering something.
Oh God, no.
What is it?
WHIP CUT TO:
EXT. EGYPTIAN THEATRE – NIGHT
A dejected Pete stands in front of the sign for the anime
festival, two tickets in hand.
WHIP BACK TO:
INT. THE VAN – NIGHT
I have a date with Pete. Right now.
Natalie makes the hard right. The motorcycles are gaining on
them, but Natalie and Dylan have to talk through this first.
Call him, he’ll totally understand.
“Gee, sorry Pete. I had to rescue a
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 41.
She makes the left.
I’ll sound like a flake. I can’t
He will so give you the second chance.
Hello, I saw the way he looked at you.
One motorcycle charges, coming up just feet from the
windshield. Natalie taps on the brakes. The freaked out
guy can’t slow down in time. He SMACKS into the windshield,
then goes flying.
We’re at the bottom!
Indeed, we are. The concrete walls end, leaving open ground.
Slamming on the brakes, Natalie turns the van around.
Everyone goes flying. Bosley is still on the phone with
EXT. BASE OF THE MOUNTAIN – NIGHT
Back facing the right direction, the van charges onward.
The motorcycles race up to the passenger side, grabbing
for the door.
INT. THE VAN – NIGHT
Dylan SLAMS open the door, knocking one RIDER off.
The sliding door opens, another RIDER outside trying to get
in. Thinking fast, Knox grabs Bosley’s tuba and shoves it
at the motorcyclist, who tumbles, taking out the fourth
rider in the process.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 42.
thunders over. We are…
INT. THE HELICOPTER – NIGHT
Natalie is at the controls, Bosley beside her. Alex leans
forward from the second row.
I think that went very well. Charlie
should send me on more missions.
We couldn’t have done it without
Natalie pats him on the arm. She and Alex exchange a quick
glance. They have to just laugh.
In the back row, Knox is looking out over the gorgeous lights
She offers him an airplane-sized bottle of Johnnie Walker
black. He takes it and toasts. They both down their drinks
in a single shot. A smile, and then…
THE ANGELS TRIPTYCH descends.
The act is over. After a beat, we
WIPE TO REVEAL:
EXT. CHARLES TOWNSEND DETECTIVE AGENCY – DAY
INT. CHARLES TOWNSEND DETECTIVE AGENCY – (THE NEXT) DAY
Charlie is on the speakerphone. The angels are in their
usual lounging positions.
Good work, Angels. Not only did you
save Knox, you saved his company as well.
I think that earns us a vacation.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 43.
Any special guy you were thinking
Natalie grins a guilty smile.
Sorry, Angels. Our work is only
Knox enters. Clean-shaven and neatly pressed, he’s still a
darn good-looking man. Vivian Wu follows him.
CHARLIE’S VOICE (CONT’D)
Meet your new client, Eric Knox.
First off, thank you. You rescued
me, for which I am eternally grateful.
He’s talking to all the angels, but his gaze seems to fall
most upon Dylan. She notices it.
But there’s still a problem. Whoever
kidnapped me wasn’t just trying to
screw up our IPO. They also stole
the proprietary software for our new
web browser. I’m sure it was Roger
Corwin, but I need proof.
That’s where you come in, Angels.
CIRCLING AROUND, we see the video images of Corwin and the
Red Star Systems logo on the big screen.
CHARLIE’S VOICE (CONT’D)
We need to break into Red Star’s computer
systems to see if Mr. Knox’s software is
indeed being converted for Red Star’s use.
Sounds like a plan.
Not as easy as that, Natalie. Red
Star’s headquarters are as tightly
guarded as a military facility.
We’re going to need reconnaissance
on their mainframe computer system,
and the best way to get that is
through Mr. Corwin himself.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 44.
A video image of Corwin’s Palm Pilot Schedule comes up the
bigscreen. The shot pulls in close on “SAN DIEGO SPEEDWAY.”
CHARLIE’S VOICE (CONT’D)
We need to pin a camera on him to get
footage of the inside of the building.
Thanks to Alex’s work at the health spa,
we know that Corwin will be at the San
Diego Speedway on Thursday. Get close to
him Angels, but don’t tip your hand.
Consider it done.
Dylan, I need you to arrange for Mr.
Knox’s security. I’d hate to have him
Absolutely. But we’d all feel safer
if you could join us, Charlie.
From Charlie’s P.O.V., looking up at the sunlight. Three
manta-rays swim above us.
We can hear the BUBBLES from Charlie’s regulator.
I’d love to Angels. But I’m in a
bit over my head at the moment.
A manta-ray swims past, super-close, letting us…
EXT. KNOX HOUSE – DUSK
A majestic craftsman in the hills, Frank Lloyd Wright meets
INT. KNOX HOUSE ATTIC – DUSK
A flashlight beam sweeps past, revealing Dylan. With just
her shoulders above the rafters, she’s checking a dusty
crawl space. She finds nothing suspicious.
INT. KNOX’S WALK-IN CLOSET – DUSK
Knox stands below, Dylan’s boots on his shoulders. The heels
dig in a bit, but he’s not complaining.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 45.
He moves to help her down, but she does a reverse-pullup to
handle it by herself. She leads the way…
INT. KNOX’S BEDROOM – DUSK
The room is huge. Through the floor-to-ceiling windows, we see
that we’re up in the hills.
Knox follows her as she walks.
I’ve got surveillance on all the windows.
Don’t answer the door, don’t answer the phone.
INT. KNOX LIVING ROOM – DUSK
Just as big, just as beautiful. Knox, or his decorator, has
great taste. Everything is top quality, but unpretentious.
Also, stay away from the windows.
They’re bullet-proof. The last
owner was paranoid.
Lucky for us.
She takes a marker-sized device off the table.
This is a panic button.
(tosses it to him)
Press it and one of us can be here
in ten minutes.
Which one of you?
She takes her jacket off the couch, ready to go.
I have a better idea.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 46.
He tosses her the panic button.
Stay for dinner.
I’m a pretty good cook.
I can’t Mr. Knox. I’m sorry. If you…
Dylan is surprised by this.
Look, I didn’t want to admit it, but I
am. I was kidnapped once, and it wasn’t
fun. I know, you probably have other
plans, but it would be very reassuring.
Dylan looks him over. Normally, she’d be suspicious, but
the guy WAS just kidnapped, and he seems sincere.
Come on, don’t make me beg. I’m
She throws her coat back on the sofa.
INT. KNOX LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
We PAN OFF a half-played Scrabble game to find Dylan and
Knox at the windows. Dylan picks up a family photo, Knox
as a little boy with a father in a military uniform.
That’s you, hunh? Cute kid. Cute
(taking the photo)
It’s the only picture I have of me with
my parents. They died a week later.
Oh. Oh, I’m sorry. I had no idea…
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 47.
Please, don’t apologize. I was too
young to understand.
(looking at the photo)
I never knew how they died. When I
was a kid, when I got shuffled from
one foster home to another, I always
thought they just disappeared.
I only found out later, my father was
in the military. He and my mother were
killed while he was on assignment,
somewhere in Eastern Europe.
(mostly to himself)
The files were classified, but I
read enough to know that he was a
good man. Apparently, he was
betrayed by one of his own team.
Wow. That’s a lot for a kid to live with.
Yeah, but it motivated me, losing my
family. It still does. I don’t take
anything for granted.
Boy did I have you pegged wrong.
How do you mean?
Well, to be honest, I thought you
were a rich kid who inherited
everything. But that’s pretty typical.
I’ve got instincts for the job, but
when it comes to men? Well…
I’m glad you don’t see me as just a client.
He brushes his hand against hers. She brushes back, fingers
against fingers. A long beat.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 48.
Oh. Well, you ARE, so…
Is there someone you need to be going
He kisses her. After a moment, she breaks off. It’s not that
it was a bad kiss. It was a damn good kiss. It’s just…
Knox moves towards her.
Dylan holds him back.
No. I shouldn’t.
She stands up.
Thank you for dinner, Mr. Knox. And
lock the door behind me.
She gets up and leaves.
FORMULA-ONE RACE CARS
ROARING past on the track. It’s all thunder, smoke and
asphalt. We are…
EXT. SAN DIEGO SPEEDWAY – DAY
With a ROAR, another blur of racers whips past, with heat
and noise and speed. The lead car bears the familiar
markings of RED STAR INDUSTRIES. Roger Corwin is at the
wheel, steering calmly to a comfortable lead, when he is
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 49.
ANOTHER BUMP sends him screeching to the left. He almost
crashes, then gets back on course, just as he’s passed by…
A SLEEK, BLACK CAR, sponsored by the SONY CORPORATION, and
manned by a mysterious driver with TEXAS TORNADO inscripted on
the helmet. We follow the black car as it pulls into the pit.
EXT. FREEWAY PIT – DAY
The racer pulls off her helmet as the pit crew surrounds her.
Of course, the racer is Natalie, aka BETTY LOU HOBERT, the Texas
(yelling over the
CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’VE NEVER RACED
THIS TRACK BEFORE!
BACK WHERE AH’M FROM, WE RACE IN SWAMPS
AND BACK ROADS! THIS ALL’S A PIECE A CAKE!
Natalie shakes out her hair, winks at the pit boss.
The Pit Crew races in to make repairs. DYLAN, dressed in a
pit suit, kneels by Natalie’s front tire. Natalie crouches
down next to her so they can talk.
I nicked him. Should give you
enough time to do the deed.
I’m on it.
Dylan steals away, heading for…
CORWIN’S PIT CREW —
Corwin is seething mad as he pulls into his pit.
LET’S GO! WE’RE LOSING TIME HERE!
The pit repairs his car as Corwin is approached by another
racer, also wearing a Red Star racing suit. He leans into
Corwin’s car and now we see that’s it’s… THE THIN MAN.
You okay, Boss?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 50.
No thanks to you! You’re supposed
to be my head of security! Who is
The Thin Man peers over at Natalie, but she’s got her
back to him.
Don’t know. I’ll keep an eye out.
Yeah. You do that.
Corwin peels out onto the track again, almost crushing
the Thin Man in the process.
AS CORWIN PULLS OUT
Dylan sneaks in. In all the cacophony, no one notices
as she grabs CORWIN’S SUITCASE out of the back seat of
his regular car, a bitching Mercedes. She checks both
ways to see if she’s being watched.
Coast is clear, Dylan.
EXT. THE WINNER’S CIRCLE
Where Alex, dressed as a trophy girl, watches the race
through binoculars and keeps an eye on her pals. She
nods to BOSLEY, who is dressed as the Flag Waver. He
speaks into a walkie talkie.
Let’s make the switch.
BACK IN THE PIT —
Dylan pulls a briefcase out of her jumpsuit, and swaps
it with one in Corwin’s car. She carefully switches all
his files from the old briefcase to the new one, then
gives Alex a thumbs up.
MEANWHILE BACK IN THE RACE —
NATALIE roars back onto the track, keeping Corwin in her
sights. Then she spots another Red Star car, coming up
right next to her. She locks eyes with the Thin Man.
The two of them recognize each other at the exact same
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 51.
The Thin Man, realizing he’s been made, jams on the
brakes and skids off to the right, which leads to a ramp
that heads out of the stadium.
Natalie, not wanting to lose him, does something crazy.
Even though she’s at the front of the pack, she brakes
hard, swerves into a full 180 degree U-turn, and starts
heading the WRONG WAY on the race track.
Startled drivers pull off to the left and right as she
follows the Thin Man out of the racetrack.
EXT. SPEEDWAY ACCESS ROAD – DAY
To a chorus of CAR HORNS, the Thin Man’s blue racer weaves
through the spectator traffic entering the speedway.
Looking back, we see Natalie is gaining on him.
Finally clear of the traffic, both cars let it rip.
HELICOPTER VIDEO FOOTAGE
Looking down on a freeway, where a ubiquitous police
pursuit is in progress.
TV ANCHOR VOICE
If you’re just joining us, we’re
approaching hour five of a pursuit
that has lead us all across the
Southland, at speeds up to 80
miles an hour.
A beat-up gray Chrysler leads a phalanx of police cars
down the empty freeway. It’s oddly calm and hypnotizing.
FEMALE ANCHOR VOICE
Chuck, time and again we hear the
question, “Why don’t the police just
ram the other car, or shoot out the
tires?” The LAPD has a policy of
hanging back and following unless…
Suddenly, the blue Formula One car comes screeching past
the cops and the suspect, over 200 miles per hour.
TV ANCHOR VOICE
What was that?
INT. NATALIE’S RED CAR / ON THE FREEWAY – DAY
Still hot on the Thin Man’s tail, Natalie has the engine
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 52.
As she passes the police cars, we see several OFFICERS
look over — what the hell?
Natalie catches up to the gray Chrysler. Looks over to
see the WILD-EYED SUSPECT, hunched over the wheel.
He looks back at her. A beat later, she’s passed him,
just taillights on the freeway.
EXT. FREEWAY – DAY
With the lanes cleared for the other chase, there is
nothing preventing the Formula One cars from hitting top
speed — which they do.
Natalie is catching up to the Thin Man.
As they head under an overpass, we see KIDS CHEERING.
INT. BLUE CAR – DAY
The Thin Man checks his gauges. The gas dial is perilously
close to empty — these cars are meant to be refilled often.
Up ahead, he sees an exit. He starts to slow down…
EXT. FREEWAY – DAY
… but when you’re going 200 miles per hour, that can
take a while. He misses the exit.
Natalie is trying to match his speed.
The Thin Man pulls over to the side, stops fully.
Braking as hard as she can, Natalie still passes him.
The Thin Man throws a U-turn, heading up the freeway on-ramp.
EXT. SAN DIEGO SHIPYARD – DAY
We catch glimpses behind fences and between train cars —
the two racers gliding slowly down the narrow roads, like
INT. NATALIE’S RED CAR – DAY
Pulling off her helmet, Natalie scans right and left for
the blue car — she’s lost sight of him. The narrow
windshields of these racers doesn’t make it any easier.
EXT. SHIPYARD – DAY
We LOOK DOWN on Natalie’s car as she rounds a corner,
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 53.
EXT. PIER – DAY
Natalie spots the blue racer reaching the end of the
long pier. It pulls a U-turn to face her, then stops,
engine idling. There’s only way off the pier, and it’s
The Thin Man REVS his engine.
Natalie REVS hers.
ANGLE ON a white seagull, pecking at something on the
pier, halfway between the two racers. The bird looks up,
hearing the engines.
ANGLE ON the Thin Man. He pulls his harness tighter.
REVS his engine higher.
ANGLE ON Natalie. If it’s a game of chicken he wants,
she’ll give it to him. She REVS her engine higher still.
The noise scares the bird, who suddenly flies off. Like
a flag being dropped, that’s the signal for both racers
to peel out.
A cloud of SMOKE. Rubber on asphalt.
Already reaching a tremendous speed, the racers are on a
collision course. The Thin Man isn’t going to turn away.
Neither is Natalie.
Racing faster, and faster still, there’s only one way
this can turn out. But then, at the very last moment,
the Thin Man wusses out. He cuts the wheel right,
missing Natalie and careening off the edge of the pier.
In SLOW MOTION, we watch as his racer hangs in mid-air,
wheels still spinning. Back-heavy, the tail hits the
Natalie brakes hard, cuts the wheel to avoid going off
the far end of the pier. She finally stops, the rear
tire just 1/4 inch from the edge.
CRANING UP along the side of the pier, we find Natalie
looking into the water where the blue racer went in.
There’s just a slick of oil and a steady stream of bubbles.
VIDEO / CAMERA’S P.O.V.
We see lots of hallways, doorways and security locks, all
from the POV of a man’s hip.
The footage is from the camera in the switched briefcase
that Corwin is now carrying with him.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 54.
We PULL BACK from the video to see we are actually
INT. CHARLES TOWNSEND AGENCY – DAY
… on the big screen. The angels and Bosley watch the
footage, along with Knox and Vivian Wu. Vivian has
seated herself close to Natalie. So close, in fact, that
Natalie keeps having to shift a few inches.
Dylan, meanwhile, sits across the room from Knox,
deliberately avoiding eye contact.
ON THE BIG SCREEN: As the videocamera passes a room
marked with an intimidating warning sign…
That’s the room with the
mainframe. Everything at Red Star
goes through that system.
So if we want to find proof that
Red Star stole Knox’s technology,
that’s the computer to tap.
Exactly. But they have heavy firewalls
and encryption. You can’t jack in from
outside. You’ll have to physically be
in that room to get at the data.
Even if we do get inside, there won’t
be time to search for it. There’s got
to be a hundred terabytes of
information there. It could take days.
So you install a transmitter.
All eyes go over to Natalie.
Patch in directly to the relay,
broadcast on a high frequency.
That way, you can have access to
the mainframe from the comfort of
your own home. And they have no
idea that you can peek inside.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 55.
Knox is impressed. The other angels nod. It’s a good idea.
That’s all fine in theory. But you
still have to get inside that room
to install it. What about security?
Red Star has a lot of Government
contracts, so security is tight. Key-
card badges throughout. Redundant
security at all red-line areas with
biometric scanners and weekly keycodes.
Pervasive video surveillance, lasers,
air-displacement sensors. Plus a hard-
wired fail-safe at the relay to prevent
exactly this kind of tapping.
It sounds impossible.
Alex checks with her fellow angels. They’re in agreement.
It sounds like fun.
With a subtle RUSH, we move into a stylized MONTAGE that
shows How They Do It. It features WHIP PANS, FREEZE
FRAMES and ZOOMS to show us only the highlights.
Only the two directors can disengage the
fail-safe. We have to get their keys.
WHIP CUT TO:
INT. NUDE NUDE NUDE GIRLS – DAY
ANGLE ON DIRECTOR #1, 40’s, part of the lunchtime crowd.
Alex and Natalie are on the catwalk, in the middle of a
grinding routine. Paying for his drink, he fumbles with
his wallet. His waitress helps him find the right bill.
As she walks away, we see the waitress is Dylan. FREEZE FRAME.
We ZOOM IN on the orange key-card she’s grabbed from him.
EXT. BACK YARD BIRTHDAY PART – DAY
ANGLE ON Bosley, done up in full clown makeup. He tries
to twist a balloon animal, but no luck. Finally it POPS.
The CHILDREN CRY.
Entertaining the ADULTS, magician Alex whips open her silk
handkerchief to reveal that the “item” has disappeared.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 56.
ANGLE ON DIRECTOR #2, who looks very worried. Magician’s
assistant Dylan takes off her giant hat to reveal the director’s
billfold is underneath. Getting it back, he’s
Passing behind Dylan, Natalie takes the orange keycard
Dylan hands off. FREEZE FRAME. ZOOM IN.
Then we have to get back into Red
Star. Problem is, their biometric
sensors are too good.
We need someone’s help.
EXT. STREET OFF MULHOLLAND – DAY
ANGLE ON Roger Corwin, driving his Mercedes. He slows,
a road crew working ahead.
ANGLE ON Dylan, dressed in an orange vest, manning the
slow/stop sign. She makes Corwin stop, leans in to
apologize for the delay.
Behind the Mercedes, Natalie sneaks up. She quickly
picks the trunk lock, then quietly climbs in. She hoists
in a large duffel bag, then shuts herself inside.
INT. TRUNK OF CORWIN’S MERCEDES – DAY
We HEAR the car moving again.
Stripped down to a bra, Natalie attaches an illuminated mirror
to the underside of the trunk lid. Starts to pull more items
from her duffel bag: black shoes, a dress shirt, a tie.
EXT. RED STAR – DAY
Establishing. We see Corwin’s Mercedes pull into the
INT. PARKING GARAGE / RED STAR – DAY
Walking away from the car, Corwin hits the remote. The
A beat later, a hand comes out from under the trunk lid.
Natalie climbs out, only she’s not Natalie anymore.
She’s become Corwin — identical to the last detail.
She tucks the last of the latex mask under her collar as
she walks. FREEZE FRAME.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 57.
INT. SECURITY STATION – DAY
Corwin puts his right hand on the sensor grid. A laser
scans it. Approved.
The Security Guard hits the button, releasing the gate.
He goes back to his magazine as Corwin passes through.
A beat, then…
Tommy? You gonna let me through
Tommy the Guard looks up, sees Corwin is still at the
TOMMY THE GUARD
Oh. Yeah, sorry Mr. Corwin.
He hits the button again, letting Corwin through. Tommy
goes back to his magazine, still a little perplexed.
INT. SECURE HALLWAY – DAY
The same places we saw on the videotape. Natalie-as-
Corwin swipes the two stolen failsafe cards in a reader,
sending the lights from red to green. FREEZE FRAME.
She splices in a transmitter the size of a cigarette pack.
Pulls up a tiny antenna. FREEZE FRAME.
INT. SECURE HALLWAY – DAY
Corwin walks down the hall, still talking with his
colleague. Natalie-as-Corwin is walking right towards
them. She turns away as she passes. He didn’t even spot
EXT. POSH BEVERLY HILLS HOTEL – DAY
INT. RESTAURANT – DAY
As a group, the angels move through the upscale lunch
crowd to find Knox and Vivian Wu at a booth.
Alex opens a slim Sony laptop, sets it on the table.
It’s done. Red Star’s mainframe
is open for business.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 58.
Astonished, Vivian Wu hits some keys, checking that what
they say is true.
(to a passing waiter)
Champagne, please. Your best.
Smiling, Knox motions for them to take a seat.
Now I know why I hired you. You’re
A look between the angels. They know it’s true.
(to Knox, re: laptop)
I’ll have Systems get to work on
this right away.
She reaches for the laptop. Bosley snatches it away.
Uh, actually Miss Wu, WE will get to
work on this right away. Any evidence
we find will be turned over to you AND
the proper authorities.
I don’t think you understand how
important that data is, Mr…
Oh, indeed I do. And that’s why I’ll
take very good care of it when I find it.
(reaching for the laptop)
Vivian, please. Do as the man says.
Reluctantly, Vivian Wu pulls her hand away. Bosley tucks
the laptop into a steel briefcase, then stands.
Where you off to, Bos?
Uh oh, lemme guess. You’re off to
chase bikinis at some tropical resort?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 59.
Exactly! Fire Island, here I come!
Dylan does a spit take, the other two Angels roll their eyes.
Goodbye, Angels. Mr. Knox.
As Bosley exits the restaurant, Vivian Wu eyes him
carefully. Knox raises a glass to toast the Angels.
Have to go. Plans tonight.
As they get up…
She notices the other Angels staring at her. She doesn’t answer
Natalie quickly picks up what’s going on. She glances at
Alex, then clears her throat.
Hey Dylan, can we talk to you
for a second?
THE LADIES ROOM
Natalie, Alex, and Dylan kibbitz near the sinks.
There’s something going on between
you and Knox. Isn’t there?
So what, so I like him. Is that
Uh, yeah Dylan, it IS. He’s a client.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 60.
WAS a client. We finished the job.
She’s got a point.
What? She doesn’t have ANY point, Alex,
I can’t believe you’re siding with her.
I’m not siding with anyone, but
technically, he is no longer…
You know Charlie would NEVER
approve of this.
Oh come on, Charlie wouldn’t care. I
think you’re just being overly cautious.
Uh, guys? GUYS!
They turn to look at her.
I’m a big girl. I make my own
decisions. I’m going out with him.
She walks out of the ladies’ room.
INT. PARKING GARAGE / BEVERLY HILLS – DAY
Bosley hums “In the Navy” to himself as he walks through
a parking garage. He’s alone in the echo-y garage, and
everything we know about movies tells us This Means Trouble.
BWEEP BWEEP as his alarm shuts off. Just as he’s about
to lift the handle, he stops. Looks back over his shoulder.
Did he hear something? He scans the empty garage. No
one in sight. Must’ve been his imagination.
INT. BOSLEY’S MERCEDES – DAY
Bosley climbs in, shutting the door behind him. He’s
putting the keys in the ignition, when…
A HAND clamps a chloroformed rag over his mouth. It’s
the Thin Man. Bosley struggles, but in moments, he’s
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 61.
OUTSIDE THE CAR
THE THIN MAN stuffs Bosley in the trunk, slams it shut,
VIVIAN WU (O.S.)
Vivian Wu, standing beside the Thin Man. She’s holding
the case Bosley refused to give her before.
THE THIN MAN
So, now we have the transmitter, what
do we do with fat boy? Dirt nap time?
NO! Not until I’ve got the
information I need. We’ll take
him to the compound, hold him there.
In the meantime, we’ve got to tie
up some loose ends.
Whenever you say something like
that, it means more work for me.
The Angels will figure out they
were duped. We can’t afford them
jeopardizing our plans.
THE THIN MAN
Here it comes…
We have to Kill Charlie’s Angels.
The Thin Man sighs, whips out his cell phone.
THE THIN MAN
Guess I’ll cancel my weekend plans.
And speaking of weekend plans…
EXT. ITALIAN STREET – NIGHT
Jason and Alex are walking down a beautiful, tree-lined
cobblestone street, holding hands. The buildings and
outdoor cafes are reminiscent of a quaint, vaguely
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 62.
Alex, I can’t tell you how happy I
am you came.
No, I mean, it’s weird. It’s
weirding me out how happy I am when
you’re around. Am I sick or something?
The only bummer is, I start to
jones when you’re not around.
What the hell am I gonna do this
weekend, if you’re not with me?
We’ll get you some sedatives.
You’ll be fine.
He stops, takes her in his arms. With the moonlight
shining down, it’s very romantic. They kiss. Then…
Hey. Wait a second. Come with me!
Come with you?
Miami, on the Sony Jet. I’ve got
two tickets to the Final Four.
Jason, I don’t…
Wait, before you say no, let me just
say something, okay? I’m sick of how
little we see each other. I’m sick of
stealing a day here, or a week there.
It’s my job, Jason. I can’t
explain it, but I have to be on
call, all the time, and…
What if I changed all that?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 63.
What if I told you to quit your
job, and come live with me. What
I’m saying, Alex, is that I want
BLAM! BLAM! Gunshots ring out!
Gunfire! Get down!
Alex, in Angels mode, immediately throws him to the
ground and covers him. She feels something wet, looks
down to see Jason’s chest, covered in blood.
My God, you’re hit. You’re…
Fine. I’m fine.
They’re squibs, it’s fake. See?
He wipes off a little, puts it on her tongue. Finally
convinced, she almost lets herself laugh.
that we are in a soundstage, the cobblestones street is
just a set. The gunfire was coming from some effects
guys, who are test firing guns for the upcoming action
scene just outside the soundstage, visible through the
open loading door.
Fake guns, too. They’re just
setting up for the next scene.
He helps her up.
Sorry about that, I…
God, I loved that. The way you
yelled and everything? Baby, you
been watching too many movies.
(he kisses her on the nose)
Alright, I gotta go reset these.
DON’T GO ANYWHERE. I want to
finish this conversation.
As he walks out of the soundstage, Alex is left behind,
alone. She cleans herself off, shaking her head at her
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 64.
Nice, Alex. Real nice.
A wall next to her sprays a cloud of plaster. Alex looks
at the hole. That’s strange.
Two more little explosions, these barely missing her face.
Hey, is someone firing more squibs
Suddenly, without warning, the wall is plastered with
SILENCED GUNFIRE. It’s only Alex’s instincts that let
her duck in time to avoid being turned into Swiss cheese.
She tucks and rolls behind a Styrofoam set as…
TWO GUNMEN with silenced SNIPER rifles fan out on the
fake city street.
ON ALEX —
crouched behind a wall.
She looks both ways. If she tries to break for the open
loading door, she’ll lead the gunmen right back to Jason.
Only way out of here is to head for the far wall, all the
way across the building, where there’s a fire exit.
Taking a deep breath, she darts across the fake street.
fire at her, one of them pulling off his silencer and going
to machine gun mode. The sound of the gunshots are covered
by the sound of the effects guy, test firing guns outside.
Sees that the sets are held up by wooden support beams.
She lifts her leg and delivers a solid blow, cracking the
two-by-fours in half.
move slowly through the fake street set. Suddenly, they
hear a creaking sound. They look up to see the whole,
fake building set collapsing!
They dive out of the way, just in time to see Alex race
through the fire doors.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 65.
EXT. BACKLOT – NIGHT
Alex races out of the soundstage and jumps into her car,
parked nearby. The Gunmen emerge from the stage and spot
her, just as she gets the car started. She peels out as
a hail of gunfire just misses her windshield.
EXT. OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE SOUNDSTAGE
Jason has just gotten his squibs refitted. He’s facing
the opposite direction, so he doesn’t see Alex’s car
whizz away in the background.
Jason walks into the Soundstage, followed by the effects crew.
Of course, she’s nowhere to be found. While he looks
around, one of the effects guys fingers a bullet hole in
the set wall. He presses against it and a FLATTENED
BULLET FALLS OUT.
He thinks for a moment, then shakes his head. Couldn’t be.
INT. EGYPTIAN THEATRE – NIGHT
A passing FILMGOER reveals Natalie and Pete. Seated near
the aisle, they share a giant tub of popcorn. The movie
hasn’t started yet, but there’s a slide show of various
anime heroes and villains.
Thanks for the second chance. I
swear, I’m really not a flake.
He shrugs it off.
How can I deny any woman who’s
seen all 23 “Lords of Wind and
I bet there’s a dozen women here
who fit that description.
Honestly — there’s a looks
component as well.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 66.
You’re the most beautiful woman
I’ve ever seen this close up.
How can she not be flattered by that? She would say
something back, but the moment has gotten so electrified
that each little glance just brings on more goofy-in-
The only solution is to leave…
Ladies room. I’ll be back in two minutes.
I’ll be here.
INT. LADIES ROOM – NIGHT
A wee bit smitten, Natalie enters as the last WOMAN leaves.
We hear just the DRIP DRIP DRIP of a faucet and the Muzak
version of Power Station’s “Some Like It Hot.”
IN A STALL
Natalie shuts the door behind herself, then sets to work
putting down a tissue-paper seat cover.
SWEEPING ACROSS THE FLOOR
We look under stall doors to find a pair of black men’s
boots stepping down from inside. Natalie is not alone.
IN HER STALL
Natalie is about to hoist her skirt when she stops. Her
Spider Sense is tingling.
A DOOR LATCH
CLICKS open. We TILT UP to see a WELL-DRESSED MAN. He’s
at least 6’3″.
He stops at Natalie’s stall door, drawing his gun. A
beat, then he KICKS the door open, revealing…
AN EMPTY STALL.
The automatic toilet FLUSHES itself. The Man takes a
half-step in, confused. Suddenly —
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 67.
The door swings back, SMASHING into his right hand. He
drops the gun, looking up to see
Who is perched atop the stall walls. She pushed the door
with her foot.
Grabbing an overhead pipe, she performs an acrobatic
swing, landing both feet on the guy’s head. He falls
into the next row of stalls.
Natalie reaches for the gun, but the Man grabs her ankles.
He pulls her back across the tile floor, flipping her over.
That just makes it easier for her to kick him where it counts.
With a scissors lock around his neck, Natalie is pulled
up while the Man falls. She lands a knee on his windpipe.
Who do you work for?
He tries to pull her off. She leans in harder.
Speak now or never again.
(motioning with eyes)
Suspicious, she digs inside his coat to pull out a leather
billfold. Flips it open to reveal an I.D. that reads…
National Security Agency? You’re with the NSA?
I’ve been following you. I didn’t
know which side you were on.
This is bigger than you think.
INT. MOVIE THEATER – NIGHT
The anime classic is playing. Pete keeps looking back
towards the door. He’s been ditched again. Just when he’s
about to give up hope, Natalie is there.
I’m so sorry, but I have to go. I
This is my cell phone number. Please
call me tomorrow. Please. I’m sorry.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 68.
With that, she goes. A beat, then she comes back.
Kisses him once, hard. Then goes for real.
EXT. HOLLYWOOD HILLS – NIGHT
Dylan and Knox walk hand in hand up a quaint, woodsy path
behind Knox’s home. We can hear music drifting up from
the hill in front of them.
Where’s that music coming from?
You’ll see. Just a little farther.
He helps her up a steep part of the path. As she comes
over the crest of a hill.
(taking in the view)
DYLAN’S POV —
The hill behind Knox’s house has a magnificent view right
into the Hollywood Bowl. The music is the symphony
playing something very romantic.
They stand there, together, just listening to the music,
Knox watching her reaction closely.
Can I ask you a personal question?
How much do you know about Charlie?
Dylan seems surprised by this question.
I just find it strange that you
work for a man you’ve never met.
Well, I don’t know what he looks like,
but I feel like I know him. We all do.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 69.
And none of you have any clue who
he actually is?
And you’re never curious to find out?
Of course, but believe me, it’s
impossible. I’ve tried.
Let’s not talk about Charlie,
okay? Or work.
She smiles t him, motioning for them to go back up to
In fact, let’s not talk at all.
INT. KNOX’S HOUSE – NIGHT
Dylan and Knox are asleep in his bed, when the doorbell
CHIMES. Dylan bolts upright. She slips out of bed, peers
out the window. Vivian Wu is waiting by the front door.
Eric, it’s Vivian.
Hmmm. I wonder what she’s here
Want me to tell her to come back, or…
No, no. I’d better deal.
(he kisses her)
You go back to bed.
Knox pulls on a robe, goes downstairs.
STAY ON DYLAN —
as she pulls on her clothes, her CELL PHONE rings. She
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 70.
Dylan, we were set up. Vivian Wu is not
who she says she is. She’s a former
assassin and an all around bitch.
Oh no. OH SHIT. Natalie, she’s HERE!
I’m at Knox’s, she just showed up!
EXT. FREEWAY – NIGHT
Driving her own highly excellent car, Natalie has it floored.
I’m ten minutes away. Wait until I
I can’t do that. Call Alex and meet
But Dylan’s already hung up. Cursing her partner, Natalie
races the car even harder.
INT. KNOX’S LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
Knox is sitting at the coffee table, signing papers. Vivian,
sitting across from him, has her cell phone open. They are
both surprised to see Dylan walk into the room.
I see you take your bodyguarding
services seriously. Still, I worry
that no one is watching the door.
Oh, I’m watching it. In fact, I just
called for back up.
From her bag, Vivian pulls a silver 9MM.
All the same, I’m concerned about
Mr. Knox’s safety.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 71.
Although Knox is clueless, it’s clear the message Vivian
is sending to Dylan. She’s in control here.
Vivian sets the gun on the table, in easy reach.
Vivian just came over to run through
some numbers for the IPO.
Please, take a seat. I’m almost
With a knowing glance at Dylan, she goes back to her
No alternative, Dylan takes a seat beside Knox. Both face
Vivian, whose hand is very near the gun.
Dylan looks at Knox as he reads through his papers. He has no
idea there’s anything wrong.
VIVIAN WU (CONT’D)
Really. How disappointing.
Vivian gestures to the abandoned Scrabble game on the table.
Why not play?
I’m not much for games.
As Knox flips pages in the report, Dylan casually begins
pushing Scrabble letters around, nothing serious. But she’s
managed to spell…
She gets Knox’s attention, looks to the word, up to Vivian.
Knox follows her intention, but doesn’t seem to believe it.
While Vivian continues to talk on the phone, Knox sets his
report down. Pushes around some letters of his own. The
words finally come out as…
CLOSE ON Dylan. What does that mean?
Vivian snaps her phone shut.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 72.
VIVIAN WU (CONT’D)
Bad news: The other angels are still
alive. Good news: Everything else
Dylan stands up. What the hell is going on?
Vivian draws the gun on her. Knox moves over toward
Sorry Dylan. I knew this moment
would come sooner or later. I was
just hoping for later.
A long beat, Dylan trying to wrap her head around this.
All this time, we thought Red Star
was behind this, but it was you.
You faked your kidnapping.
Knox taps his nose. She’s got it.
To gain your trust. And get your
I want you to know, my personal
attraction to you was a sincere
and unrelated complication.
Oh, well, in that case I feel a lot
better about you being a lying pole
Dylan looks like she’s about to leap forward and tear Knox’s
throat out. Vivian gestures for Dylan to keep stepping back.
I can’t believe I trusted you.
Why not? You trust Charlie and you’ve
never even met him.
Dylan crosses the sill, out onto the balcony.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 73.
And believe me, there’s a lot about
him that you don’t know. Anyway,
I’m not going to be an idiot and
stand here talking when we could do
something useful, like KILL YOU.
Goodbye, Dylan, I’ll miss you…
How right he is, because as soon as Vivian squeezes the
Dylan drops to the floor, then rolls.
the bullet misses Dylan and slams into the bulletproof window
causing a spider-web crack to spread. Dylan sees her
opportunity and heads right for the window while Vivian
pumps off shots.
As she comes to the window, Dylan jumps up in the air and
does a flying kick, hitting right at the spot where the
The bulletproof glass shatters outward, and Dylan flies out
the window, onto the ledge.
I’ve never seen YOU do something
Oh, shut up.
EXT. BALCONY – NIGHT
Dylan looks over the edge of the balcony. The drop-off is
incredibly steep — the house is built on stilts — and the
fall looks like it would kill her. But she doesn’t have
KNOX AND VIVIAN
come running out onto the balcony, just in time to see Dylan
jump. They rush to the edge, look down into a forbidding
thicket of trees.
She can’t have survived. It’s too far.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 74.
VIVIAN WU (CONT’D)
Still, I should probably check…
Knox shakes his head.
We’ve got more important things to do.
The two of them head back inside. As they do…
We hold on the railing, then slowly start to drift down, to
the underside of the balcony. Dylan has attached her belt to
the bottom of the railing, and is hanging in the rafters. As
she pulls herself back up…
EXT. AIRPORT — NIGHT
A black sedan pulls onto the tarmac. Knox and Vivian Wu emerge,
then hustle into a waiting private plane.
INT. ANGELS DETECTIVE AGENCY
Natalie, Dylan and Alex nurse their wounds and compare notes.
I can’t believe Knox tried to kill me.
I mean, I’ve been lied to, I’ve been
cheated on, but no guy has ever
tried to SHOOT me before.
I’m gonna get him for that.
He played us from the very start.
It was all just so he could get us
to tap into Red Star. He couldn’t
figure out a way to do it himself.
Who knew that we are actually
tapping into the main servers for
The National Security Agency?
And now, thanks to us, he’s had hours
to download whatever top secret
information he wants, for God knows
The angels take a beat to let their indignation grow.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 75.
Wait a minute. We installed the
transmitter, yes, but we never gave
him the receiver.
That laptop was the only way to access
the transmitter. And we gave the
They look at each other…
And on that note…
EXT. BEACHFRONT COMPOUND – FLORIDA COASTLINE – DAY
We PUSH IN over the water to reveal the massive complex — half-
villa, half-castle. Built into the green hills, it’s
flanked by oversized windmills.
EXT. STAIRCASE – DAY
Armed guards, as if they were necessary, make sure no one
goes up or down a staircase that leans up into the tower,
where their dangerous prisoner is being held.
INT. COMPOUND TOWER – DAY
Bosley’s cell, as such, is a round room.
Bosley flits about in a panic. He’s hardly touched the gourmet
food on his tray. Except for the pudding. He loves pudding.
JUMP CUT TO:
Still a-twitter, Bosley flips through the 500 channels on
his big-screen TV. He watches a few moments of E!
JUMP CUT TO:
As the Thin Man takes the tray away, Bosley suddenly attacks
him with the silverware. With a single hand to Bosley’s
forehead, the Thin Man holds him at arm’s length, harmless.
He takes the weapons away.
JUMP CUT TO:
Bosley WHISTLES to a bright red songbird who has landed
on the windowsill. The bird WHISTLES back. Bosley thinks
they’re having a conversation.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 76.
Bosley is going a little insane.
JUMP CUT TO:
In his spacious bathroom, Bosley is sitting on the toilet,
rocking as he makes spaceman noises.
We hear a PLOP in the water, and then a BLEEP BLEEP.
Curious, he stands up and looks in the bowl. He’s surprised
by what he sees.
INT. TOWNSEND AGENCY – DAY
Alex is on the phone, frantically dialing numbers.
Come on, Bosley, answer.
(she hangs up, then,
to the Angels)
I’ve tried all his numbers and paged
him five times. No answer.
I don’t even want to think about
what I’m thinking right now.
Don’t! He’s alive, he’s gotta be. If…
What IS that?
There’s a very faint voice coming from Bosley’s desk drawer.
Dylan walks around the desk, yanks it open…
Angels! Angels, can you hear me!
Dylan grabs the radio receiver from the drawer, holds him up.
Bosley’s voice gets louder.
BOSLEY (O.S.) (CONT’D)
I don’t know if you can hear me. I don’t
know if this thing is even working.
The Angels crowd around Dylan and the receiver. It seems
EXT. COMPOUND TOWER – DAY
CLOSE ON a satellite mini-dish mounted to the roof. We CRANE
DOWN to look in a tower window, where Bosley is hunched over
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 77.
INT. COMPOUND TOWER – DAY
On the top of the TV, a wire runs from the satellite feed to —
THE TINY RADIO
that Bosley swallowed at the spa. It’s worked its way
through his system.
I know you can’t answer, but… I
really hope you can hear this.
EXT. RUINS OF TOWNSEND AGENCY – DAY
The angels still can’t believe they’re hearing his voice.
Can we trace him?
Not off a boosted signal. We’d
have to be within 20 miles.
Come on, Bosley. Tell us where you are.
INT. COMPOUND TOWER – DAY
I don’t know where I am, really. I’m
in a round room. The walls are white.
Well. Not white-white. More of a
cream, or an eggshell. Vanilla. Yes,
I’m going to say vanilla.
This isn’t helping.
I can see the ocean.
Dylan finds a globe amid the wreckage. Wipes off the soot.
I don’t know which ocean. I was
blindfolded the whole time. We were
flying. It must’ve been three or
four hours. Maybe more.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 78.
With her fingers, Dylan figures out how far he could have
flown. Estimates the circumference.
He could be anywhere in North America.
The bird Bosley was whistling to lands on the TV, looks
at the transmitter, curious. SINGS its song.
Wherever it is, they have really
Natalie holds up a finger — stop.
The bird SINGS its song again. Natalie smiles.
Hear that? That’s a blue spotted
egret. They only live in one place.
The MUSIC revs up, as we…
EXT. VILLA COURTYARD
A HELICOPTER touches down inside the villa gates. Knox
and Vivian emerge.
INT. COMPOUND – DAY
Knox and Vivian walk into a fully macked computer room,
where the Thin Man is supervising a techie as he taps away
at Bosley’s laptop.
Our access was cut off at the source.
But not before we retrieved the
information you wanted.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 79.
The Thin Man pulls a piece of paper out of a printer,
hands them to Knox.
THIN MAN (CONT’D)
The National Security Agency’s secret file
on the man known as Charles Townsend.
Knox smiles. Takes the print-out.
How about Bosley? Did we get the
information we wanted?
Once we we drugged him, he sang like a bird.
The Thin Man hands Knox another print-out.
Hmmm. Miami Arena. Preparations
have been made?
Yes. We move out tonight.
Where IS Bosley?
In the tower. We were waiting till
you gave the word.
Well? No time like the present.
The Thin Man nods.
INT. KNOX COMPOUND – DAY
The Thin Man cocks his gun as he heads to the tower to do
away with Bosley. Then…
Sir? You should take a look at this.
The Henchman leads Thin Man into…
A room lined with monitors that survey the courtyard. Henchman
points to one in the corner.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 80.
See here? Look at the timer on
It’s not moving.
Oh, this is the oldest one in the
book. Punch up camera three.
Another camera angle comes up, this also a view of the
THIN MAN (CONT’D)
Now pan left.
The Henchman does what he’s told and, on the monitor…
WE SEE DYLAN, dressed in a black cat suit, as she rewires
a security camera. She glances around, making sure no
one sees her.
THIN MAN (CONT’D)
The old re-loop the video camera trick.
And look, she’s not even carrying a gun.
What is this, amateur hour?
EXT. COURTYARD – DAY
Dylan sneaks her way through the courtyard, doing an
admirable job of trying to stick to the walls. As she
comes around the corner.
THIN MAN (O.S.)
Um, excuse me? I think you’re
She whips around to see the Thin Man, standing right
behind her. She instantly swings at him, he blocks it.
She’s about to swing again when five guns get cocked
against her temple. She’s surrounded by guards.
The thin man and his boys lead Dylan into the house.
THIN MAN (CONT’D)
No offense, but as “storming the
castle” plans go, this one sucked.
Oh yeah? And I suppose you could
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 81.
Yeah, I sure as hell could.
How about an underwater entry? Or
hang gliding over the main tower?
There’s a million good ways in, if
you just do your homework.
Dylan glares at him, and as she does…
We move in CLOSE ON Dylan’s funky belt buckle. There’s a
tiny camera concealed there.
EXT. OUTSIDE THE COMPOUND – DAY
Natalie and Alex huddle around a three-inch monitor,
getting live video from Dylan’s camera.
You heard the man.
Nice work, Dyl.
They move into action.
EXT. SECOND STORY VERANDAH – DAY
Dylan is led inside by the Thin Man. Knox is waiting for her.
Present for you, sir.
Dylan, how nice. Welcome to my
Florida home. Not as tasteful as
the one in LA, but much more private.
She shrugs off the goons — enough already.
So tell me, Knox, what’s the brilliant
plan? You gonna sell a list of our
foreign spies to the highest bidder?
Blackmail the President?
The first plan is too complicated,
and the second is virtually
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 82.
Besides, I already have all the
money I need and my motivation is
(leaning in close to her)
Revenge? Against who?
You know what? I’m not in a gabby mood
right now. I’ve got a score to settle.
He flips shut a suitcase filled with C-5 explosive, the
same stuff we saw Pascal selling in the opening scene.
Seems like you’re going a bit overboard.
No, just leaving myself plenty of
margin for error. Goodbye, Dylan.
With that, he walks out of the room.
The Thin Man signals to the Henchmen. Two of them force
Dylan to sit in one of the wooden deck chairs.
Then, with the thick packing tape, they begin binding her
arms to the arms of the chair. As they do:
I don’t know why you bother. I’ve
Is that so?
Every moment I sit here is a
moment I’m using to figure out how
to take you down. In fact, this
statement — this one I’m making
right here– is just me stalling
for time while I decide which of
your goons I’m going to flatten
It’s gonna be the guy behind me.
The Thin Man can’t help but be amused. After all, there
are six guards and one blonde — who is now taped to a
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 83.
THE THIN MAN
By the time your guys are firing,
I’ll be at about 180 on my reverse
inverted 360, which will land me
on Fat Boy there, as promised.
(nods to the second guard)
He’ll take the chair seat in the
(re: two others; very slowly)
Now… I’m warning both of you:
I’m going to get you to shoot each
other. I know. Cliche as that
(then to the last two)
Last, you guys — hell, I’ll make
something up. We’ll have fun.
The Thin Man smirks oh-so-confidently.
THE THIN MAN
And what will you do to me?
You won’t even be here. I mean, I
don’t want to tell you how to do
your job, but you should’ve killed
me by now. Because I already know
that your people are onto my
people, which means any moment now
you’re going to be called out to
go and deal —
Suddenly the door flies open and —
HENCHMAN AT THE DOOR
We have intruders.
With a glare to Dylan, the Thin Man follows him out.
INT. UNDERWATER GROTTO
Alex, dressed in a sexy bikini, emerges from the water
and instantly takes out two guards.
EXT. SMALL GARDEN – DAY
NATALIE hang-glides into a courtyard, knocking out two
henchmen as she does. Alex catches up with her, as
Natalie pulls out a small scanner.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 84.
You find him. I’ll get Dylan.
Natalie heads left. Alex goes right.
INT. TOWER OFFICE – DAY
Racing up the stairs, Natalie enters a round room with
open windows on all sides. A gentle breeze stirs the
curtains. There’s an amazing 360 degree view, from hills
According to her scanner, Bosley should be here, but
there’s no one.
BOSLEY! Bosley, can you hear me?
INT. BOSLEY’S ROUND ROOM DAY
Hearing her voice, the feral Bosley looks up.
Natalie! Is that you?
INT. TOWER OFFICE – DAY
She hears him. She keeps yelling — so does he — until
they both realize that his room is above hers.
How do I get up to you?
There’s a staircase. Look for a
She begins frantically checking the desk, the shelves,
Her cell phone RINGS. She answers it.
Hello?… Pete, hi! How are you?
INT. BILTMORE HOTEL – DAY
On break, Pete is talking on a pay phone.
I’m good. I just — you said you
wanted me to call.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 85.
INT. TOWER OFFICE – DAY
Natalie keeps checking the shelves, looking for a secret
I did. I do. I mean, thank you
I’m not an insecure person or anything,
and I’ve really enjoyed the very brief
time we have spent together.
Two GOONS race up the stairs into the office. Natalie
turns to face them.
I’m just wondering if it’s
something I said or did that’s
making this whole thing so weird
The Goons approach.
Can you hold on a sec?
Hitting MUTE, Natalie kicks the chair behind her and dives
under the desk. She comes up on the other side with a
electric cords attached. She backhands it into the
goons, who jerk and twitch as electricity shoots through
One more sec.
With a roundhouse kick, she flattens one of the goons,
WHACKS the other with the cell phone.
The first goon charges at her, but she sidesteps at the
last moment, leaving Goon One to hit Goon Two. Both men
topple through the open window, falling. Yikes.
Sorry about that.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 86.
Listen, is this a bad time?
No. Not at all.
She starts searching again for the switch.
You just sound distracted.
You know, work this week has been
really busy. It’s been hard to focus.
BEHIND NATALIE, Vivian Wu reaches the top of the stairs.
She moves stealthily. Natalie has no idea she’s there.
See, the thing is, I’m not a full-
time waitress. I should have been
more up-front about that, it’s just…
At the last moment, Natalie catches a moving reflection
in a shiny trophy. Turns to find Vivian Wu swinging an
antique chair at her head.
She ducks. The chair SHATTERS the display case.
Scrambling to get away, Natalie drops the phone.
Natalie, what was that?
(yelling to phone)
Hate to disagree.
Vivian upends the desk, nearly crushing Natalie. Vivian
jumps on top, ready to kick the shit out of our angel.
As we probably suspected, Vivian Wu is one hell of a
martial artist. Fortunately, so is Natalie.
In their first series of blows, Vivian seems to have the
upper hand, but Natalie rallies hard. Vivian surprises
her with a floor-sweeping kick, knocking her down.
Vivian grabs the phone off the floor.
VIVIAN WU (CONT’D)
Is this the famous Charlie?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 87.
No, it’s Pete.
Vivian looks at the phone. Who the fuck cares? She
throws the phone out the open window.
Getting up, Natalie stares her down, incredulity building
You bitch! I like that guy.
Mocking, Vivian wipes away a tear.
Natalie lets forth a typhoon of fury, a full-out Mortal
Kombat. Vivian is thrown back against the bookcase,
where she knocks over a candlestick.
That’s the trigger for the bookcases to begin sinking
into the floor. Circling around the room, each set of
shelves drops to a different level, forming steps that
lead to the upstairs room.
As Natalie and Vivian continue to fight, Bosley sticks
his head down from above, watching the brawl. Natalie is
Do you have any idea how difficult it
is to find a quality man in Los Angeles?
She slams Vivian into the wall. Grabs her again, hands
around her head.
To be honest?
Vivian suddenly leans forward and KISSES her, right on
VIVIAN WU (CONT’D)
I don’t care.
Natalie is surprised for a moment, which gives Vivian the
chance to swing at her. She misses.
I can handle villainy. I can even
(Vivian swings and
But what you did is just wrong.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 88.
She head-butts Vivian, knocking her out cold. She throws
the limp body on the floor.
A beat, then Natalie looks up to see Bosley.
EXT. VERANDAH – DAY
From below, we hear SECURITY WHISTLES. The compound has been
breached. Dylan looks at the six armed guards surrounding her.
Here we go.
And now she does exactly what she told the Thin Man she’d do:
She pitches forward, ducking her head so the chair’s back
crashes into the railing, tearing it off. She stands.
Okay, that part worked.
The Guards FIRE — but Dylan has already launched herself
from the railing into that backflip, which lands her on
the head of —
Fat Boy, flattening him bad, and smashing the rest of the
chair into kindling. She grabs the wooden seat and whips
it up, catching bullets from Guard #3 before flinging it
like a Frisbee at Guard #2, nailing him right on the chin.
Quickly she stands again, between Guards #3 and 4.
Now, guys, I warned you. This is
where you shoot each other.
The two men scoff, disbelieving. Then Dylan does a head
fake, both Guards panic, and fire, but Dylan drops, leaving
each man a clear shot at the other. Both gape. Both fall.
Just Guards #5 and 6 left. Dylan’s chair arms are still
taped to her forearms.
Okay, here’s where we improvise.
In a whirl, she overhead-chops Guard #5. Drives her
right arm into his shoulder while swinging her left arm
into the back of the Guard #6’s head.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 89.
A few more blows, then both men fall.
Now Dylan drops into a second chair, half-exhausted,
half-amused with herself. Has one brief beat to take it
all in, then —
Bosley steps onto the veranda, sees Dylan sitting in the
FROM HIS POINT OF VIEW: It looks like Dylan — whose
arms are still strapped to the arms of the first chair —
is taped to the chair she now sits in.
Oh my God, let me help you.
Bosley hurries over, “freeing her.” Amused, Dylan lets
him. Natalie steps out from inside, pausing to KICK one
guard who was starting to revive.
EXT. KNOX COMPOUND – DAY
Knox, carrying the briefcase bomb, gets into his waiting
helicopter, followed closely by the Thin Man.
The helicopter quick ascends, just as…
THE THREE ANGELS
run into the courtyard.
Don’t worry, we’ll get him.
You don’t understand. He’s got a
pound of C-5 in that briefcase.
The question is, where’s he headed?
The three angels turn to see Bosley, huffing and puffing
his way into the courtyard.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 90.
The man Knox is trying to kill has two
general admission tickets to the Duke-
Maryland game at Miami Arena. He’s going
to blow up the arena and kill his target.
Not that I don’t believe you, but how
exactly do you know all this?
Because Angels, I was the one who
purchased those tickets.
But Bosley, you HATE sports, why
(suddenly getting it)
You didn’t buy them for yourself.
You bought them for…
Bosley lowers his head. Suddenly all the angels understand.
They race out the courtyard, in hot pursuit.
INT. MIAMI – DAY
Racing across the water, we find thong-clad BEACH BABES
moving to a Latin beat. Art Deco buildings flank sun-kissed
streets. The people are sexy, the daiquiris strong, and every
night’s a fiesta — Welcome to MIAMI.
Running down the street, towards Miami Arena, the three
angels pass THREE OTHER WOMEN rollerblading by: JILL
MONROE, SABRINA DUNCAN and KELLY GARRETT.
Nothing is said, but a cool moment just happened.
INT. LONG, LONG, HALLWAY — LATER
The three Angels are running down a very long hallway.
Their voices are the only sound that echoes off these
walls, although there is a faint humming that grows louder
as they approach two, metal fire doors.
What do you think he looks like?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 91.
Sixty, tall, well-built.
I always saw him as younger.
Definitely. With black hair.
No, silver hair. And tan.
He’s not George Hamilton.
He’s outside a lot.
We’ll know him when we see him,
that’s for sure.
IF we see him.
How hard can it be to spot Charlie?
They slam into the doors, and we…
INT. MIAMI ARENA – NIGHT
We reverse angle to reveal the inside of Miami Arena. The first
thing that hits us is the WALL OF SOUND, the noise made
by twenty thousand people in a basketball induced frenzy.
The next thing that hits us is the sheer magnitude of the
job facing the Angels. Hard to spot? The crowd is one,
enormous, teeming mass of brightly colored humanity.
The game is in progress, Duke vs. North Carolina, and it’s a
barn burner. A one point game with six minutes to go. BALL
PLAYER pulls up and swishes a three pointer, Duke by two.
The crowd goes apeshit.
BY THE MEZZANINE
The Angels huddle, yelling over the deafening noise of the
We have to split up!
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 92.
I’ll take the luxury boxes.
I’ll take the mezzanine.
I got the floor.
They split up. Dylan leads the charge down the loge section,
blowing past the SECURITY WOMAN, who yells after her.
INT. ARENA FLOOR – NIGHT
BEHIND THE RIM, COLLEGE PLAYER #2 pulls down a brick, slams
home the rebound. The crowd ROARS.
INT. LUXURY BOXES —
JASON GIBBONS, famous movie star and North Carolina alumnus,
pumps his fists in the air. His luxury box is loaded with
fellow Tar Heels and nameless studio executives. He
repeatedly high fives a Hollywood type in sunglasses and Armani.
When suddenly, the door to the luxury box is flung open.
Charlie!? Charles Townsend!
Jason whips around and locks eyes with Alex.
Realizing she has no time to explain, and that Charlie isn’t
in here, she turns and leaves.
While everyone watches, confused, Jason pushes his way
through the box and follows Alex into the hall.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 93.
INT. ARENA — MEZZANINE
Dylan races past rows of seats, pissing off plenty of fans
in the process.
in the stands.
scribble at their monitors. Natalie runs behind them,
scanning the crowd. WHIP PANS, from ONE MAN to ANOTHER to
ANOTHER. Stopping on a likely candidate…
THE SCOREBOARD CLOCK
counts down. :60. :59. :58.
INT. LUXURY BOXES – NIGHT
Alex bursts in. It’s a crowd of fifteen cocktail-drinking
Charles Townsend? Anybody, Charles
She ducks back into the hallway.
INT. HALLWAY — CONTINUOUS
Alex walks out into the hallway, frustrated. Then,
miraculously, she spots him…
He walks out of one of the luxury boxes, holding a large,
metal briefcase. He heads for the elevator.
immediately goes to intercept him, but…
THIN MAN (O.S.)
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 94.
It’s the Thin Man, standing behind her, with a gun in
THIN MAN (CONT’D)
You move, you say anything, I
perforate you. Got it?
Knox glances back at the Thin Man, nods to him. Then he
gets in the elevator.
The Thin Man starts edging Alex towards some emergency exit
doors, gun still in her back. Alex is trying to think of an
escape, quickly. She knows that the second he gets her out
of this public space, he’s gonna shoot her. The door gets
closer and closer…
Alex?! Jesus, what is going on?
The Thin Man and Alex turn around to face Jason, who is
sweaty and exasperated from chasing her.
Jason, hi, I…
The Thin Man digs the gun deeper into her back.
Can I talk to you later?
No you can talk to me NOW. I want
to know what the hell is going on.
First, you disappear with no
explanation, not even a goodbye.
I’m sorry, I…
Now, I see you here, but you’re
with some other guy.
Hey, movie star, do yourself a
favor and get lost.
Jason double takes. He’s not used to someone talking to
him like that.
Lemme guess. You must be Charlie?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 95.
No, no I’m sick of this shit. I’m
sick of this asshole telling you
what you can and can’t do.
And then, with no warning, he hauls off and punches the
Now, Jason’s just an actor, not an ass-kicking super
detective, so his punch isn’t all that great. In fact, it
leaves Jason shaking his hand in pain.
The Thin Man, a trickle of blood running from his lip, smiles.
That was stupid.
First, he pops Jason right in the jaw. Jason stumbles
backward, dazed. Then he reaches for his gun, in the
process, loosening his grip on Alex…
Jason, get down!
Alex spins out of the Thin Man’s grasp and does a full
roundhouse kick, knocking the gun out of the Thin Man’s
hands. The Thin Man immediately responds, throwing two
quick punches, which Alex expertly blocks and then follows
with a hitch-kick to the chin.
Jason, dazed and confused, thinks he must be hallucinating.
What the hell is going on?
What’s going on is a world class ass-kicking, courtesy of his
girlfriend. While the action star watches in amazement, Alex
unloads an arsenal of bad ass kung fu moves that would make
Jet Li green with envy.
The Thin Man doesn’t stand a chance. A flying side kick
sends him stumbling backwards into the stairwell. We
follow the fight…
INT. STAIRWELL — CONTINUOUS
… to the first landing. The Thin Man, battered and bruised,
reaches down to his ankle holster to get his spare gun, but
Alex is too fast for him. She stamps on his hand, then
drops a knee to his throat.
Right now, just by leaning forward, I
could crush your windpipe. You’d die
a slow and painful death. You don’t
want that, do you?
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 96.
The Thin Man shakes his head “no.”
Where is the bomb, when’s it going off?
She presses harder.
Jason slams out into the stairwell, looking for Alex. He
finds her on her walkie talkie, the Thin Man handcuffed
to the staircase.
Hi, Jason. Gimme one second?
Jason nods, sure.
We go to another triptych, all three Angels on their cell
phones in different parts of arena.
Angels! Knox planted the bomb in the
basement, and it’s timed to go off
when the game clock hits zero!
Roger that, Alex, I’ll stop the clock!
I’ll look for the bomb!
Alex turns back to Jason. He’s clearly having a difficult
time processing everything he’s just seen.
I lied to you Jason. I’m not a
Yeah, I can see that.
(referring to the
And that wasn’t Charlie.
I’m actually here to stop a madman
from killing everyone in this
building. Would it be okay if we
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 97.
Go save the world, honey.
I’ll be waiting for you.
Alex smiles. Runs off.
Natalie stares up at the clock… :30. :29.
The WHISTLE BLOWS.
Whew, that was close. But it’ll start up any second. She
has to keep it stopped. But how? She glances to the
sidelines and gets an idea.
ON THE COURT —
MUSIC starts from overhead, the respective teams’ cheerleaders
coming out for one last routine.
As they kick into gear, Natalie comes out with them, dressed
as a Duke cheerleader. She follows along with the dancers, a
bit timid at first, then more confident as she gets into it.
INT. ARENA BASEMENT — BENEATH THE COURT
Dylan races through the basement, looking for the briefcase.
Then she spots it, hooked into some wires that snake up
into ceiling above.
Dylan approaches it cautiously. She slowly opens the top…
Alright, Dylan, all we have to do is
figure out which wire to cut.
REVEAL THE BOMB —
there are about fifty different wires, in every color in
the Crayola box.
Alex, still searching for Charlie, notices something strange.
You’re kidding me.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 98.
is fully transformed on the court, from wallflower to full-
out cheerleader. It’s not that she’s as good as the other
cheerleaders. She’s better.
ON THE COURT
The SONG ends. The Cheerleaders vacate the court, but Natalie
keeps dancing her heart out. She has 18,000 fans watching
her, and she’s totally in the moment. But there’s another
agenda as well…
COURTSIDE RADIO ANNOUNCER
The time out is over, but one
cheerleader doesn’t seem to notice.
Officials can’t start the clock again
while she’s on the court.
INT. MIAMI ARENA — CONTINUOUS
Dylan has picked two wires.
Chartreuse and magenta. This has
gotta be it.
She prepares to snip them with her wire cutters, when…
I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.
She spins to see Knox, standing behind her.
See, if you snip ANY of those wires,
the bomb WILL blow up.
It’s gonna blow anyway, once the
clock gets to zero.
Who told you that, my idiotic
henchman? Do you think I tell him
ANYTHING that’s confidential?
He holds up a small TRIGGERING DEVICE. It’s the same one
we saw Pascal try to sell in the opening scene.
THIS is what triggers that bomb. So
if you’ll kindly step away, I’ll
refrain from killing both of us.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 99.
Realizing she has no choice, Dylan stands up and backs away.
In different circumstances, Dylan, I
think you and I could have worked out.
We have a lot in common.
Yeah, I fall for assholes, and you
(beat, as he backs up)
Well, I must be going. If you like
your body parts attached to your
torso, I suggest you do the same.
Knox turns to go, but the other Angels are blocking his way.
Give it up, Knox. You’re surrounded.
Give us the detonator.
Stumbling backwards, Knox holds it up high.
I’ll blow this building sky high, I swear!
Don’t do it, Eric. It’s me you want,
not all these innocent people.
Everyone turns, as one, to a figure emerging from the shadows.
That’s right, it’s Charlie. Finally, after all these years,
we get a look at him, and boy is it… disappointing.
He’s not what we expected. Short, portly, dressed in a
“We’re #1” t-shirt; the Angels are absolutely floored by
Charlie ignores their stares and addresses Knox directly.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 100.
Your father was a double agent, Eric.
Yes, I revealed him, but he was killed
by his own people before we could
throw him in jail.
He was my friend.
It’s still your fault, you arrogant
prick! You still killed my father!
Maybe. Maybe I did. But why should
YOU kill all these people? If you
hate me so much, just shoot ME.
Just shoot me, Eric.
Charlie spreads his arms, leaving Knox a plenty wide target.
It’s a horribly tense moment. The Angels are frozen, watching
Knox decide Charlie’s fate.
Knox is sweating, debating his choices. Can he really do
this? Charlie’s not the glamorous, smug asshole he imagined.
He starts lowering his gun.
Okay. You’re right.
I’ll just kill you.
It all happens in the blink of an eye. Knox fires, hitting
Charlie in the chest. Natalie leaps out and tackles Knox.
Alex dives and grabs the detonator, before it has a chance
to go off.
Dylan runs to Charlie’s side.
Charlie, no. NO!
She hold shim in her arms as the other Angels gather round
their fallen leader. He gasps for air.
He’s trying to say something.
Then Dylan notices something weird. He’s not gasping for
air, there’s something stuck in his mouth.
With a great, hacking cough, he spits it out. It’s a voice
chip, like the one Dylan used in the opening scene.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 101.
Ucch, that tasted terrible!
The voice isn’t Charlie’s. Dylan reaches down and rips
off Charlie’s mask, revealing…
Bosley! Are you okay?
He pulls back the padding from the suit, revealing a small
wound where the bullet grazed his side.
Hurts, but it looks like it’ll heel.
Dylan laughs, Alex ruffles his hair.
Hey, wait a second. If Bosley’s
here… then where’s Charlie?
The Angels all look at each other. No one knows.
EXT. CENTER PASSAGE – DAY
In gorgeous SLOW MOTION, the three angels walk side-by-side
with a calm assurance, fireballs exploding behind them.
As MUSIC rises, the ANGELS TRIPTYCH descends, then peels
away to reveal…
EXT. GORGEOUS BEACH – DAY
The angels kick back on the white sands, tropical drinks in-
hand. Bosley is there as well, with a grass hat and zinc
on his sniffer.
Charlie is on the cellular speakerphone.
Great work, angels. You’ll be happy
to know you received another
The Angels, and Bosley, clink glasses.
CHARLIE’S VOICE (CONT’D)
Enjoy your vacation, angels.
Thank you Charlie.
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 102.
They toast the speakerphone.
Alex, Natalie — I know you’ve been
putting in some long hours on this case,
so I thought you might enjoy a chance to
catch up with some old friends.
NATALIE AND ALEX TURN TO SEE
PETER AND JASON
walking across the beach towards them. Each is carrying a
drink of his own. They wave. Damn those men look good.
Alex and Natalie share a smile.
Any chance you’ll be joining us,
A SUNNY DECK
We’re in Charlie’s point-of-view. We can see part of his
reflection in the window — not enough to see his face,
but we get some sense of the man.
He turns away, begins walking. Steps down onto the sand.
(to cell phone)
I’d love to, Angels. But I have some
precious treasures to watch over.
With that, he hangs up. We stay in his P.O.V., walking
across the beach. And it’s not just any beach.
TO THE LEFT, WE NOTICE
PETE AND JASON
approaching. We’re on the same beach.
Looking right, we see the backs of the Angels and Bosley.
They have no idea that Charlie is walking right behind them.
A beat, then Dylan looks back.
She looks directly as us — at Charlie — tracking as we
move past. Does she somehow recognize it’s Charlie?
From her reaction, it’s not clear.
A beat, then we…
CHARLIE’S ANGELS – 8/18/99 103.
REVERSE ANGLE/NOT P.O.V.
Dylan looks back forward again. Did she just see Charlie?
Her smile tells us she thinks she did.
She raises a toast.
THE ANGELS AND BOSLEY
They knock glasses.
Right at the moment we should probably fade out, Bosley
spills his icy drink in his lap. His eyes go wide.
The Angels just have to laugh.
We FREEZE FRAME, then…
CUT TO BLACK.
THE END[amazonjs asin=”B0041P7FIA” locale=”JP” title=”チャーリーズ・エンジェル Blu-ray”]